Jacob Zuma promised quite a few people quite a few things in his ascent to his current position. His decision for members of the cabinet will be the first indication as to where he intends to take South Africa during his term as president.
Since every man and his donkey have had a punt as to what Mr Zuma’s cabinet will look like, Wonkie thought it only fitting that it does the same. Below are a few suggestions as to the constitution of the Zuma Cabinet Dream Team:
Pravin Gordhan – Anti-corruption ministry (a new portfolio designed to weed out corruption in the country possibly but only outside the elected cabinet). Given Mr Gordhan’s impeccable record (and no sarcasm there) with cleaning up the SARS and getting everyone to cough up their taxes, Wonkie thinks he would be the best man for this role.
Blade Nzimande – Public enterprise and Land reform because Mr Nzimande knows how to distribute wealth fairly. But we suggest this appointment only because we really want to read the 3000 odd comments by horrifed DA supporters about how South Africa is about to become the next Zimbabwe because of it. Hehe.
Winnie Madikizela-Mandela – Healthcare because she is the Mutha of the Nation and so caring. She will be strongly supported by Barbara Hogan as her deputy, provided Hogan recants anything she and her extended family said against the ANC in favour of that pesky Dalai Lama fellow.
Julius Anger Management Malema – Safety and Security.. if you don’t feel safe and secure or at least say you do, you can rest assured Mr Malema and the ANC youth league will take good care of you. Real good care.
Manto Tshabalala-Msimang – Finance. Now Wonkie knows a few of you may be cynical about this appointment but realistically this may be the safest place to put Dr Beetroot. Growing maize, garlic and beetroot may after all provide a significant financial boost to the economy given the lacking demand for resources as global growth slows. Further, Wonkie speculates that her distance in this role from her previous healthcare role may help South Africans in general – after all we would rather be poor and healthy than rich and HIV positive.
Schabir Shaik will be strongly supporting Manto in her finance minister role because he’s proven himself to be so good at it in the past – bar the minor incident of getting caught for making a bribe on behalf of Mr Zuma. He could not be appointed to ministerial position himself because he’s allegedly terminally ill. Aren’t we all.
Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma – coffee lady. Since her visibly limited impact in foreign affairs during the ANC’s last tenure – notably on the Zimbabwe crisis, Wonkie expects at least she would have learnt which foreign coffee beans to use in the important portfolio responsible for making and distributing coffee to the cabinet.
Trevor Manuel – Planning of everything. Probably a good idea to move him out of Finance and assume the market has already factored in his departure. The small matter of the conflict of interest regarding his dear Maria Ramos heading up one of the largest financial institutions in South Africa has nothing whatsover to do with this move.
Mathews Phosa – Foreign Affairs because he is a close ally of Mr Zuma and umm.. why not? That’s how this position seems to have been decided in the past anyway.
Jeff Radebe – Telecommunications. After the total mess recently dead Ivy Matsepe-Casaburri left the state of South African telecoms in, it will be hard for Mr Radebe to do any worse. Although many South Africans are still wondering why they all need cars and why there is no decent public transport system in the country.
Naledi Pandor – Education because Pandor has proven that the current education strategy of keeping rural South Africa under-educated makes it easier to win elections. After all, ignorance is bliss and at least this way most of South Africa stays happy.
Kgalema Motlanthe – Deputy President because he has shown the greatest competence as a seat warmer so far. Hot water bottles everywhere are afraid they may lose their jobs if Mr Motlanthe doesn’t get this post.
In all seriousness, the cabinet selection will be interesting. Wonkie thinks Mr Zuma will surprise the country with his choices and positively so. Despite all odds Mr Zuma has ascended to the top job in South Africa and that is no feat to be scoffed at – he is a shrewd politician. One can only hope that the decisions he makes now are sincerely motivated by what is best for South Africa and not what is best for his pals.
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Lolita – no problem, we’ve added you to the mailing list.. thanks
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Yes, naturally, the highest merit to the one who most lied during his trial and down the ladder
this is great stuff,but you forgot mbalula. He could be the chief whip
Based on the provincial appointments, it appears competence is a key factor (especially the Gauteng appointment). Competition from opposition (performance of the W Cape) is an important consideration for securing a second term. So, it is true that JZ will pleasantly surprise skeptics and friends alike. There are ways to reward supporters without compromising government performance such as passive (albeit, huge) income from “participation” in the Telkom deal, ambassadorships in non-strategic countries, etc. Given the leftward drift of policy enviroments globally (regulation of markets, bailouts, etc) there will be no major impact on market sentiment with left leaning appointments in areas of social spending such as public works, housing, energy and transport. The USA set a precedent in its budget allocations and appoinment in this regard
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The only people who are to benefit from Zuma`s rule its capitalsts,colonialists and imperialists and that`s why they have been paraded him and his prodigal son-malema just as kebble benefitted from his relationship with mbalula.
they are the people who have asked questions ad have been responded to satisfactorily.an example of course its thir stisfaction with manuel while we see him as a great failure because he has promised them favorable economic policies inbcluding the fact that he was not going to radicalise and transform corporacy.
what an amazing cabinet,lets just hope jz selects sensible ministers.problem is the guys in the anc only think about themselves instead of the people they claim to be representing.if i had it my way none of the wonkie selected members would make it to cabinet,it would be a blow to SA as we know it.
Blade will probably be elected on merit, he does after have a Doctorate, dosent he ?? A Dr of Divinity, like most of the other “Doctors”
The part of “dead casaburi” shows how irresponsible you are. Your stupid jokes are starting to irritate.
@Lekgotla – You make an interesting point about competition from opposition. I’ve read a couple of articles over the last few days in the papers about ways in which the DA may be stifled in terms of effective management of W Cape. I’ve read a couple more stating that the W Cape gives the DA a chance to prove its worth… basically providing it with a stepping stone to show how they can perhaps make an impact at a national level next time. I would be interested to get your view on how much latitude Mr Zuma will give Zille.
@Tim – I take it that you are not optimistic about Zuma taking the helm then? I do think there is some truth in your comment – the financial markets really don’t seem to be too concerned with Mr Zuma taking charge. I would bet money they wouldn’t budge after the cabinet decision either.
@yabatho25 – just trying desperately to keep a sense of humour about it all! I think the boldest move Zuma can make is to sack the clearly incompetent. It may be expensive for South Africans in the short term but I think making Manto the ambassador of Outer Mongolia may work out quite well.
@Humphrey – please read Nda’s comment on the Goodbye Poison Ivy post. May Ivy’s soul rest in peace but please lets not give false praise to the woman who set South Africans – particularly poor South Africans – back at least 10 years with her poor decisions and blatant incompetence in what is a highly technical role.
Yes,its important that Presidents must be tertiary educated and must have done their army stints because having a non-graduate President its like having a businessman who rely on others to run the business for him and who has no training in management or accounting.
Margaret Thatcher was more educated than Zuma or Morgan but she was still not regarded as fit to can debate with scientists or academics.Zuma and Morgan will rely on their spin-doctors but what happened when they are cornered in the absency of these spin-docytors and speech-writers?
I take it that you are not optimistic about Zuma taking the helm then? I do think there is some truth in your comment – the financial markets really don’t seem to be too concerned with Mr Zuma taking charge. I would bet money they wouldn’t budge after the cabinet decision either
Financial markets are in charge and Zuma has given them the assurance that he won`t disadvantaged them that`s why they are contented with him.
Ackerman has just vowed that his business stay in the family and he-ll do so by throwing crumbs at his staff in the form of shares that won`t make them co-owners of the business nor will they be involved in the re-branding,marketing or boardroom meetings but will be given credit cards to go enjoy cognacs and caviars while the rightful owners of the business makes decision about the future of the business.
he wont, he has no merits himself
John! tertiary qualifications do not necessarily apply to the positions of politicians but help them to create a vision and plan and strategise .
In otherwords they are able to distiguish between right and wrong and make their own decisions along theline.Someone who is not an intellectual can`t read between the lines ending`up like Tsvangirai and Zuma who can`t answer questions about the speech they have just announce whereas Mbeki was someone who first read th speech and interrogate it and ask that some words,paragraphs or sentences be attended to.
He was someone who intersperse hi9s peeches with quotes.But his Economics qualifications were irrelevant to his position if their poor economic policies are anything to go by.
Zuma`s friend arrested fo bribe and corruption ! is this the sign of things to come?All of these Zuma camp`s appointees are parasitic and greedy types who get tempted very easy and what guarantee are we geting that their wings will be clamped!
The manner in which this friend of Zuma bribed an official its obvious that if he gets into Zuma`s government corruption will be a part of life for him.
ANC will bring DA ‘to book’ in Western Cape
How?The people of the Western Cape have spoken{keep the anc out of our door}and there`s no turning back!The anc played it very dirty with its disinformation,misinformtion and propaganda that the DA is a white racist party and of course this played into the empty minds of its unintelligible and illiterate voters because there`s nointelligible an literate voter who will vote for such a rubbish of a party that is rubbished by the murderers,rapists,women gropers and abusers,thieves,fraudsters and grafters like the anc!
the da is not a sexist nor racist party and that`s why it stuck to the policy of the right man and the woman for the job!its an insult to women to demand that they must be appointed as tokens just to create a false impression.A party is not judged by the people it elects to positions but its constitution and people vote for a party because they support its constitution.
It a green untested lie that the da neglected black townships during its development and upgrading of cbd`s since it prevnted the da fom extending its master plan to the townships solely for the purpose of lying that townships are neglected.why did it not order its police chiefs in capetown to go after the gangs that are making the lives of people hell in the townships?what did that deadhorse former mayor of it do for township people?
YEEE—MR PRESIDEEENT!!!!you are in the zoooo!!!!you look like a monkey tooo!!!!!
you must commit yourself to national security,good economic and political codes of governance,get rightwing tradiional farmers to show their commitment to reconciliation and healing by setting-up workshops in rural areas and teach rural people in all aspects of farming,give local and provincil authorities independence so that they can dliver appropriately.
since i`m of the view tht you will be the head of sadc i urge you to setup an independent body to start fresh investigaions about the causalites of the zm situation nd if thre are individuls or groups implicated they must face the music.colonialists and capitalists must be clipped so that they don`t wield the power that they wield in the continent even use it to create wars,divisions and conflicts among the people of the continent.
I have got it on good faith that Zuma was cornered by a team of journalists {soon after he delivered a speech to economists}and was peppered with questions regarding what he has just told economists and he couldn`t answer a single questions and buy time by giggling and nodding and that`s just the small problem with illiterate Presidents!Heeheeheeee.
Zuma must as a matter of urgency investigate the allegations made by Kasrils that he gave Mbeki a report requesting him to take certain actions to avert possible attacks on foreigners.
He must understand that as a President his priority is National Security.He must revamp SADC so that it has teeth and that it is not manned by leaders of countries but ordinary people with no political ambitions or allegiance..
Diceases are a part of his task to protect citizens from foreign infections and the need for strong entry points security.When they were informed in the 90`s that Zimbabwe was a country with high hiv-aids infections and that they must toughen-up our border security to ensure that no Z
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8 yrs later…