Cellphone Monkey Photo Contest

Cellphone Monkey Photo Contest

Cellphone Monkey – Photo Caption Contest

A bit of a delayed start to the year in terms of Friday Fun but Wonkie thought today’s photo caption contest would be a nice break from the political zoo for readers. After spending several hours pondering on who this monkey might be calling and what it intends on telling them, Wonkie had brainstormed a few likely possibilities given what’s been in the news recently. In case you need some inspiration, below are Wonkie’s top 10 guesses:

  1. Muammar Gadaffi (Islamic nation uprising warning call)
  2. Winnie Madikizela-Mandela (asking for VIP protection against speeding fines)
  3. Bono (for complimentary tickets to the next U2 360 concert)
  4. Julius Malema (to ask about nationalisation of his assets, just for fun)
  5. Nazir Alli (to ask what medication he’s on when he comes up with toll fees)
  6. Hosni Mubarak (to say farewell, old friend)
  7. Eskom (to ask when the lights are coming back on)
  8. Jacob Zuma (to find out if he’s in the market for another wife)
  9. Cosatu Striker Hotline (to determine what size rocks are legal this year)
  10. Johannesburg City Council (because the billing system is working fine)

And now, Wonkie will leave it open to readers to come up with their smartest captions for the above photo. The best entry received by 28 February 2011 wins a Wonkie T-Shirt!

For those among you who are not email suscribers already, please sign up today – our current Win an MP3 player promotion for email subscribers ends on 30 April 2011. ALL verified email subscribers stand a chance of winning – so sign up today – it’s absolutely free!


The funniest caption in this week’s contest receives a Wonkie CartOOns t-shirt!

The winner will be notified on 1st March 2011… enjoy the weekend!

ps: For those of you that are wondering how this little monkey got so smart, Wonkie suggests you read all about the benefits life coaching can have for you too! 😉

* * *

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  1. malema, where you at the bananas are getting soft

  2. let me invite chuene leonard in facebook

  3. these fir-coat fads are giving me the gibbers….let me see if I can find a faux-fir coat on the net…

  4. Geetha Arekal says

    Geeks…still they are apes… not moved to touch screen…

  5. SMARTphones my foot, Look who is smarter now!!!

  6. I am just wondering ig my grandfather had a phone like this,but do you operate this.

  7. Geetha Arekal says

    Still not evolved…touchscreen era guys

  8. Haibo Julius! I can’t get this damn cell to shut-up your face.

  9. Agh, no scorpion!

  10. I wonder if Mswati and Zuma will be interested in my sister, anyway let me call them maybe they will invite her to a reed dance

  11. Eyo, Bye Bye Mu-ba-ra-kkk, I gotcha yo back. At least you gave that nigga Mugab’s benefit of the doubt. Well done hope he’s gonna follow suit. Yeah 😉

  12. Zola Dambula says

    No more missed calls. Finish and klaar!

  13. We’re taking over the mines in Zimbabwe. Next stop, South Africa. Julius, tell Showerhead to prepare.

  14. Bono my man – is it OK to terrorize tourists

  15. phoning for delivery

  16. oh ghosh how to use this thing now

  17. It is time for Mangosuthu Buthelezi to step down and give NFP chance!!!

  18. Monkey business at its best !!

  19. O pleaaaaase JZ on twiter dating coloured vrou. Delile is fuming, “julle mag nie.”

  20. Theunis Annandale says

    Very funny Mr Scott… just wait until I get back to the ship… How does this @&*$# think work again…

  21. Room service – please send phone instructions with my breakfast order.

  22. Oh please Mr. Cele,how can you possibly demean me,by calling you know who a monkey.??

  23. Ahh… Buttons – FINALLY! Great design my monkey ass – Apple should try using an iPhone with hairy fingers!

  24. Peanuts inside !

  25. Ann McDonnell says

    Can’t find the blackberry! Somone must have got to it first and I’m hungry

  26. Hey Julius, check THIS out!

  27. let me call jacob zuma,maybe he will be intrested in marrying my mother

  28. Mmmmm now to find me some chics on tweet and twitter

  29. Bob van de Velde says

    Now that I have an Apple how the heck do I ask for some bananas?

  30. When my face she sees you, she go brite like a flower my hart, Eish, she goes doof doof doof, like hailstones on the roof of my shack,I nearly died. You my valentine dulling, you like a rose You stink of nice smell. Ngiya thanda too mush. Luv Julius

  31. oh ghosh! where is mubarak number, it seams as if everything has been deleted about him!

  32. Shrien Dewani to Bheki Cele – “Now look who is the monkey”

  33. Glen Griffiths says

    Tree to tree (323), yes that is Tarzan’z number.

  34. now where the heck did i store the pressdent’s hotline number?

  35. Eisshh!! Must delete this sms before I get caught, tjoo…

  36. Julius – Eish, what’s Helen up to now!

  37. where’s that big dog’s number….yes “julius malema”.heh i cant wait to own 1 of his range rovers.hohoho nationalisation of bra ju’s assets.ayoba

  38. better call JZ before he causes an uprising like that of EGYPT. YEMENand BAHRAIN…

  39. Phoning Blade Nzimande ( trying to get the meaning of the word ‘Darkie”

  40. Leonard! stop acting like a monkey and get out of there

  41. Eish! This is a revolutionary cell phone! Now to call JZ to ask him if we must grant Helen Zille entry to the gates of heaven, that racist little girl. “Get out you bloody agent!”

  42. Zuma Ill be voting for another party so that means I am not going to your “HEAVEN”

  43. Im glad the taxes other people work hard for are given to monkeys like me!!!

  44. Let me update ma facebook status(coconuts) ummm nzimande!

  45. Malema just uploaded all his asset pictures on facebook. He earns 20 000 a month so how did he afford all of this?

  46. Now that I’m out of the zoo, what the hell should I do? Where the hell is that life coach chap Pratish’s number??!

  47. Gosh…!!! I’m sure I had my cousin, Shrien’s number here somewhere…

  48. dial, Dial, DIAL…dammit these buttons!!!!! Must get myself a touchscreen blueberry torch next, whewwww!!

  49. Wonder which monkey (read JZ, JM or any other irritating mother) is on the other side of this line !?

  50. wow, at least also us the monkeys can have cellphones, touch screen, but with three fingers, how am i going to dial, hi, hi, hi , hi……..to to to

  51. Vince Phillips says

    I’m sure cousin Julius’ number was in here

  52. Hey JZ – u r on wife no. ? Eepie lo condom? No more childrens now, see.

  53. Heaven wants my ANC membership number

  54. hey Juliebaby I was passing by and saw that beuty of a house in Sandton please nationalise it to raise fund for us in the mountains

  55. “wtf? Windows? on a Nolkia? WINDOWS?”

    “opposable thumbs, opposable thumbs… everyone laughed when i said ‘opposable thumbs’. but you try send a goddamn sms without them…”

    “no headphone jack? who makes a phone with no headphone jack? what kind of monkey was in charge of design? ”

    “whr R d extra bananas. i hav got a mjr munchie & d cookies wer polished a whIl bak. thanks. luv.me”

    “fucking Vodacom…”

    “top of the evolutionary tree and all they have to show is a tiny machine that disconnects you? how the fuck did that happen?”

    “see, this is the new cyanogen 6.2 – watch this. i can rearrange my entire home screen and make widgets. wait…no, wait, this is serious…watch…wait……………….fuck”

    “you know if an *intelligent” ape had designed this keyboard, the top damn row would be ‘b’-‘a’-‘n’-‘a’-‘n’-‘a’. ”

    “dEr Mr Delivery. pls snd 3000 bananas urgently. c/o kruger national park”

    “dear Mr Malema. thanks for your sms. i cannot understand you. i am a monkey. (p.s. do you have any food left over?)”

    “so. somewhere here is a very, very little person who is very, very loud. and when i catch him, he are going to kak…”

  56. oh my word, how do i use this one now, how was malema using this thing yesterday

  57. aawwwkkk



  58. dear bill gates. i have passed your message onto to 100 people, as requested. please send my 10 dollars to A. Macaque, c/o Kruger National Park. (P.S. I am ok if you send it as bananas.)

  59. Minister of Finance…
    “They say that whatever I put in, I’ll get…… So where’s the money?”

  60. Now where is the number for Fruit and Veg City…?

  61. Leonard Chuene. Call from the ANC to offer him the job of ambassador to Liechtenstein.

  62. “Is that the Plumber? I need you to take this shower away from my head”

  63. “dear giraffes…wtf is with the neck? i mean seriously, dudes.”

  64. dear mountain gorillas. how’s that ape/monkey thing working out for you now? for all three of you, that is. har de har. luv. monkeys.”

  65. “yeah, I know…yeah…apparently we’re not good with tool use. i know, in know, but that’s what it says on the blog i have open on the phone. yes. no good at all……..apes, apparently. yes. big hairy fuckers.”

  66. dear bob. i have a pretty bad headache and will therefore not be coming into the tree today. please ask alice to see that my meetings with the humans are cancelled. (it was basically just throwing stuff at them anyway.) rgds. dave.

  67. “09h00. Throw shit at people.”

  68. Shrien Dewani trying to contact his shuttle “driver” from his hotel, before taking a hell drive around the townships.

  69. Eish. This too is broken. Doesn’t anything work around here? Bloody monkeys!

  70. “What? My pregnancy test was positive? Oh my….!”

  71. U C it!


  73. 71322343

  74. Problem? No problem, let’s call the World Festival of Youth and Students organiser in South Africa, he will surely know what to do!

  75. Haha Julius even I know that a salary of 20k a month can’t buy you a house worth millions???

  76. I wonder if the Nigerian at the flea market cam fix this!!!!!

  77. Mr Zuma,I am looking for my biological father…they told me this is his number???

  78. Julius you need to start behaving and watching your mouth!!!!
    Yes you wena…I’m tired of being insulted hearing ppl say you behave like a ‘monkey’ !!!!!!!!!!

  79. …so let me understand JZ…if I vote ANC I will go to heaven ???

  80. ” Pesky phone snatched my bloody gum! “

  81. Now where did I put the idot Julius’s cellless number?

  82. Ted Matthews says


  83. i’m sure Malema broke my phone when he borrowed it yesterday!

  84. I can hear the voice of a human…perhaps he is trapped inside the phone…let me open the phone and find the human:D

  85. chandramohan says

    “Reply to the SMS to my gynaec says ‘delivered’…can’t u see my belly?”

  86. HI JZ


  87. Let me phone my brother Robert Mugabe and tell him enough is enough” how many Zim are in SA and now he wants us to join too?”never this is our country too

  88. i just want to tell the nation they musnt panic iam okay and well

  89. What again is my friend Jacob’s number?

  90. Now how do i check the latest world cup score???? shit my battery is also going low…..help customer care!!!!!!

  91. grrrrr ….. is this 3G enable???

  92. sanjay rastogi says

    I evolved humans into what they are now, I`ll evolve this into Android…humans still need me!!

  93. sandra olivier says

    Ag any monkey can work this thing

  94. mystery1960 says

    chit I don’t ever stand a chance of getting a wonkie t shirt – no blackberry and adsl sucks big time !!!

  95. I tell you Peter,you can expect lots and lots of Service delivery protesters up there.

  96. Carole Segal says

    abadaba honeymoon said the monkey to the chimpanzee

  97. If JuJu can use it,I can use it.

  98. Mobarak calling to say bye old friend

  99. Harry Van Heerden says

    Shrien Dewani phoning a date club to find him a new wife

  100. anc politician at work

  101. The monkey was calling one of Mubarak’s feuding sons to ask him why they nearly fought over the resignation of their father when the easiest thing they could have done was to approach the demonstrating masses to find out exactly why they were calling for Mubarak’s resignation.

  102. Meisie Bester says

    Now where is bra Juju’s number again.

  103. eish JZ how do I register to vote also want to go to the ANC’s heaven

  104. Thabiso Kokong says

    should Mr. Blade Nzimande be banned for being a politician just because he used the Term ‘DARKIES’? I am a darkie and i’m proud to be a darkie,darkie,darkie. then people should also be banned for using the Term” Coloured, whites and Indians be cause Darkies don’t exist anymore,

  105. Makhekheleza says

    Jacob …. Fix the #@&%* Pot Holes !

  106. Ronald van Rooyen says

    Monkey business

  107. L PRAVEEN KUMAR says


  108. L PRAVEEN KUMAR says


  109. Ohh, sms from uncle Gaddafi in Libya! I wonder why he thought of me after all this time?

  110. I heard there are peanuts hidden somewhere here

  111. “I’ll be damned, but I can’t remember my USERNAME!!”

  112. SarahDanielle says

    Hang on man, I’m asking my wife where the banana’s are.

  113. ayers-man says

    technology these days, makes you wonder

  114. Winners and runners up for the Cellphone Monkey photo caption contest are now up on Wonkie. And the winner is…. Dr. TCH!

    This contest is over but please feel free to continue adding your caption entries below if you’d like!

  115. semphoreng Ramoitoi says

    that is Winnie Madikizela- Mandela( Asking for VIP protection against speeding fines)

  116. I wonder how soon that damn pizza is gonna get here!!

  117. Just my luck: The Pizza Man is on his way, I have don’t have any cash on me!!

  118. Ya know, the jokers on the other side of the bars are having a fit, trying to figure how to get this phone back from me!!

  119. And, you’re telling me this thing is the “best thing since sliced bread?!!!

  120. (Say, how do I get my Wonkie T-shirt??!!!)
    You gonna mail it to me?!!

  121. My brother Albert tells me this deal takes a rocket-scientist to figure out, but I dunno!!

  122. I am letting the world know that i am the only White Primate on earth and i can repair a cellphone.

  123. I am letting the world know that i am the only White Primate on earth and i can repair a cellphone.

  124. Sarah Beth says

    “My fingers are to tiny for the buttons!”

  125. SarahDanielle says

    So im here using a Blackberry, Asking where my banana’s are :O How weird?


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