Reliable Wonkie sporting news sources, based on the sub-continent, uncovered a cricket scandal of a Kevin O’Brien 6 magnitude. It is even larger than the recent match-fixing scandal resulting in 3 Pakistani cricketers – Salman Butt, Mohammed Amir and Mohammed Asif – getting banned from the sport by the ICC for a few years.
If you have ever wondered whether the so-called commentator’s curse is a myth. Wonkie assures you that it is not. In fact, the commentary box is the true heart of the battle that is simply enacted on the field – often just seconds after a comment is uttered.
If a commentator says a batsman is well-settled at the crease, then he’ll likely poke carelessly at the next ball and get an edge. Say a bowler has great consistency with line and length, and the spectators can be practically guaranteed an over of wides. Given that many of the cricket commentators seem to know exactly what the batsmen, bowlers, and fielders are thinking and feeling, before the fact, adds further weight to our conspiracy theory.
Further, the word on the street is that dodgy bookies have given up trying to bribe cricket players – they are instead targeting the commentators as it’s proving much more effective.
Wonkie believes that a number of senior commentators are currently under investigation by the ICC. The deviously knowledgeable and popular cursers Geoff Boycott, Bumble and Ian Bishop could not be reached for comment.
On a less serious note, this year’s ICC Cricket World Cup is proving to be one of the most open tournaments ever. In the Caribbean in 2007, many fans were disappointed with the speedy exit of the likes of India and Pakistan at the hands of cricketing minnows Bangladesh and Ireland. CWC 2011 is different.
There have certainly been upsets with England losing to both Ireland and Bangladesh in somewhat freakish games. Wonkie was tempted to hand over the South African chokers title to England after those matches, but the Brits have redeemed themselves by delivering when it counted against the cricketing heavyweights – a tie against India, and beating both South Africa and West Indies when the odds were against them.
Wonkie is not certain whether the Strauss and the English team have purchased shares in some heart failure medication or some fancy new nail-biting remedy. What is clear, is that they are determined to provide good value in terms of entertainment and stress, in every single match they play. Not one England match so far can be labelled boring or even just ‘ok’ – from eventful decision reviews, to final-over finales in some high scoring matches, they’ve been fun to watch.
The win over West Indies yesterday means that there is still a chance that entertaining England might make the quarter finals. In fact, as things stand none of the top cricket playing nations are out of the tournament and a lot will depend on their performance in the remaining few matches of this phase.
As always, Wonkie wishes the best of luck to the South African Proteas, who are already through to the Cricket World Cup quarter finals next week.
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I take it the Trini flag wrapped around the commentator represents Ian Bishop? Oh wait no…the cartoon character is not black…so hmmm…in fact light brown skin, brown eyes…is it you PM? Hmmm…it does suspiciously look like the same head of the wonkie moderator PM. The whole flag as the bodies of the cartoon characters is a nice touch Wonkie…and a nice creative change…it was getting rather boring in here particularly for non-South Africans.
I say it must be the law of attraction at work here…you see nevermind what the commentators say in words it’s what is in their hearts that count so as they say the opposite and wish for what they really want in their hearts they get it! LOL! 🙂
Not too sure I’d like to see what’s in Geoff Boycott’s heart though…and the fact that he is still commentating means that commentators also don’t have a retirement age so they can just go on and on and on and…
All in all I think Wonkie and/or PM should step away from the TV or computer or whatever he’s watching the cricket on and take a deep breath instead of having to consider popping pills…it’s just a game man! Well at least for the non-betting man!
May the best team win and good luck to South Africa too!
PS:Too bad Paul the octopus is dead…but where’s Mani the parakeet when you need ’em and seeing as these games are being played in Asia shouldn’t there be some elephant who uses his trunk to choose winners or what about a monkey…a temple rat even? I’d not want to see a cobra in the role though…you just can’t trust snakes…if it comes to that my Purple Elephant and little mouse say they are willing to do the job although they don’t normally work in gambling roles!
Nice one Wonkie – thanks.
Hopefully the Proteas lose that choke title soon although to be honest I think it’s a bit unfair to start with…
Not an England fan but they’re making for some great cricket viewing so hope they don’t get knocked out in this round!
Most South Africans support any team playing against (1) Australia (2) England. These supporters are mistaken, England deserves our support as it is really a South African squad with a few poms. Even Swann can be considered an honorary South African after his drunken efforts off field when in SA.
Agree with Garth. I think if it weren’t for that nasty Pietersen more of us would support England. Pietersen needs to go play for Australia. With his arrogant attitude he would fit in well. What I would love to see is a match with the Proteas playing against all the ex-pats.
This has been a fantastic series so far and may the best team (Proteas of course) win.
I only support 2 international teams, namely Proteas and Australia. Talking about commentators, remember those gentlemen were in their time well established and known cricketers unlike some of the faders we have at present. South Africa will do very well this time around, they will possibly not win but there is always next time when they will be able to take previous experience into the next tournament/s.
As a matter of interest – Anyone remember Charles Fortune?
I remember Charles Fortune – that sure dates us! The cricket has been so good, even the minnows have performed out of their skins. Whoever wins at the end of the day, will thoroughly deserve it!
Not sure, but do they still have Mynahs at Kingsmead
@tanni. Charles Fortune. The greatest cricket comentator of all time. Thanks for the memory!
Sunil Gavaskar leaves alot to be desired. Commentators are supposed to be impartial. I would like to know what he meant, when he said typical West Indian start after the opening ball of the Indian / West Indian match.
Can someone tell me what you are talking about. I really don’t understand anything that has to do with cricket, please tell me the basics,
What is a run ?
what is a wicked ?
what is an over ? Please help
@Georgie – with the exception of some of the West Indian commentators who seem to be more critical of their own teams, I think most of the commentators – especially the Brits – are very biased in their commentary.
Cricket on radio and TV would be much more engaging if they all stuck to the facts instead of crystal ball gazing and predetermining what every person on the field is thinking!
@Manthata – check out http://www.cricket-rules.com/ – they have an easy description of the the rules along with the structure of the game 🙂
@cs. Thank you
Now that Australia has been eliminated, the World Cup is wide open and it can be won by any of the teams left in the competition. I am looking forward to the next games.
they are more funny then their cartoons