Last weekend, between deliberating the longer-term impact of the austerity measures in Greece and pondering the correlation between fatalism and happiness, Wonkie wondered what it would take for a rather average looking model to make it big in South Africa. As though the universe were eavesdropping on Wonkie’s very thoughts, headline after headline immediately appeared to guide Wonkie on the path to Truth.
The headlines consisted of numerous oh-so-clever wordplays around Twitter being aflutter, racist model rants, burning in hell, etc. Basically, a rather average looking South African model by the name of Jessica Leandra dos Santos was unfortunately harrassed by some guy at a local supermarket. She in turn, politely decided to not to poke his eyes out with her car keys and instead bravely attempted to vent her frustration on Twitter. She inadvertently succeeded in creating even more frustration, and more publicity than she could ever have dreamed of.
“Just, well took on an arrogant and disrespectful k***** inside Spar. Should have punched him, should have.”
– Jessica’s offending, not-so-tweet tweet
Wonkie should mention that before all the Indians in South Africa get alarmed that she said koolie, she didn’t. She used the other ‘k‘ word: you know – the really, really bad one.
Needless to say, there were devastating consequences to her actions:
- A few followers ‘unfollowed’ her on Twitter (and she probably gained a few hundred more);
- Every organisation that had some association with her disowned her – this includes men’s magazine FHM, Quick Trim SA, and Little Eden home – which is, quite ironically, an organisation for the mentally disabled;
- Wonkie is still awaiting confirmation that the AWB has requested Jessica to be their poster girl for 2013;
- She received the customary rage tweets and social media backlash condemning her and her entire race to hell – after all, it’s par for the course in South Africa to retaliate with something at least as equally inappropriate otherwise what’s the point;
- Another rather average looking model, Tshidi Thamana – black, this time, jumped on the bandwagon and tried to get herself into the racist limelight. She succeeded by tweeting that she wished all whites had been killed;
- Politicians tried to capitalise on it, as they try to do on everything – although in this case, Wonkie speculates that DA national spokesman Mmusi Maimane was just grasping desperately at the opportunity to invite an FHM model back to his pad… to challenge her ‘racist views’, of course;
- Wonkie’s favourite was the reaction of opportunist, beg pardon, columnist Mabine Seabe who lodged a complaint with the Human Rights Commission against Miss Jessica. Wonkie is still awaiting confirmation of whether Mabine has also filed charges for Crimes against Humanity against her in Belgium.
Since the incident, Jessica has apologised and also indicated that she often refers to herself, and her family as monkeys too – it’s more like a term of playful endearment rather than a racist one. In a classic overkill response, Jessica also apologised for “bringing the nation to its knees” with her racist tweets.
“If anything, this needs to become a healing process and a process of uniting the nation back to where we were a week ago.”
– Jessica Leandra dos Santos, on healing the nation
On the note of much-needed healing, Wonkie advocates that the ANC government immediately employ Nazir Alli to head up the soon-to-be-created national Truth and Reconciliation Commission for Racist Remarks. Given that official unemployment has crept to over 25% this month, government may well need to fabricate more jobs soon.
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- Jimmy Manyi – Racism in Government
- DA promotes interracial hanky-panky