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Wonkie’s underground liki-weaks monitor, Perry, uncovers that the National Planning Commission has been secretly working on a proposal for a Special Olympics playing to the strengths of the developing nations. Special Olympics sporting events include palm greasing, wait lifting, moral gymnastics and synchronised tendering… read all about it!

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Queen Elizabeth II celebrated her Diamond Jubilee in 2012 – that’s 60 years on the throne this year. The celebration went off with all the pomp, regality and drizzly London weather one expects from the British and nobody was disappointed. From the star-studded jubilee concert including the likes of Paul McCartney, Cliff Richard and Stevie Wonder to a splendid thanksgiving ceremony at St Paul’s Cathedral, Britons proudly waved their Union Jacks and honoured their queen.

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Christians and Muslims were at war in South Africa because a devastating travesty – hot-cross buns were labelled as being halaal at a large food retailer, Woolworths. The Easter Bunny goes into a state of deep depression as he ponder his year so far.

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The burning of Mohamed Bouazizi triggered a wave of revolutions across Islamic countries in North Africa and the Middle East. It resulted in the ousting of the presidents of both Tunisia and Egypt and the effect is far from over – regimes in Iran, Libya, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain and many more countries are also under threat now.