depressed easter bunny cartoon

depressed easter bunny

Easter Bunny causes Religious Mayhem

There is nothing quite like a sensationalist headline about religion to get juices flowing. This article, however, has little to do with the Easter Bunny, who is incidentally currently on treatment for severe depression. It does have everything to do with mental mayhem of another type though.

2012 has been a tough year so far. The world economy is in dire straights, Julius Malema is looking bloated – Wonkie is hoping it’s just gas and not some cardiac problem, the threat of e-tolling in South Africa continues to loom on the horizon, the impending end of the world is getting closer (have you packed?), Robert Mugabe is reported to be in critical condition at a hospital in Singapore – just to mention a few of the reasons that got the Easter Bunny so down.

What strikes Wonkie as amusing is that, despite these macro-level challenges, the small human mind seems to be preoccupied with making mountains out of molehills. To provide insight to readers, Wonkie called on its famous international think tank to produce some answers.

The think tank carefully considered all relevant facts and recently published this summary analysis in a peer-reviewed journal:

  1. People tend to feel strongly about things that give them hope or a sense of purpose (e.g. chocolate)
  2. If such things cannot be found, humans have no problem whatsoever making them up and pretending they’re 100% real
  3. Humans are actually descendents of sheep not apes as Darwin would have had everyone believe. This is further corroborated with the fact that humans exhibit a strong herd mentality
  4. A corollary to Murphy’s Law is that there is at least one idiot in every herd
  5. Because of the internet and growing ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), symbolism and substance are easily confused. Wonkie blames the iPad for accelerating this phenomenon
  6. People get very protective about things that they feel strongly about – this is largely a consequence of not being breastfed for long enough when they were young
  7. Fuming rhetoric and violent behaviour is often exhibited when said people reflect upon their childhood feeding regime

Findings: Empirically speaking, the research proved conclusively that when a herd idiot gets symbolism and substance confused about something that provides hope or purpose, it’s definitely time to leave the chocolate factory.

In light of this insightful research, Wonkie is curious to know your thoughts about how un-Christian it is to brand hot-cross buns as Halaal food, or for that matter, how evil it is to have a Christian food go through a Halaal certification process. Judging by the public reaction to this big issue, this is a pressing matter that must be resolved if mankind is to progress on its spiritual path.

Share YOUR COMMENT on the Easter Bunny, hot-cross buns and yummy Halaal food.
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If you’re beyond debating about religion and have had enough of zealots for this year, then you’re out of luck. You can probably expect more heated commentary as the world approaches Armageddon later this year. However, if you owned your own island, you wouldn’t need to worry about it, right? So, why not get your act together and buy lottery tickets online now. Alternatively, if you’re convinced you don’t have symbolism and substance mixed up, check out some of the best online casinos worldwide, Silver Sands casino in South Africa or dabble on some casino in India. In either case, don’t shoot the Easter Bunny if things are not going your way at the moment – he’s got enough problems of his own!

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Related Wonkie articles on the Easter Bunny:

  1. Julius Malema meets Easter Bunny
  2. Helen Zille meets Easter Bunny

Share YOUR COMMENT on Easter Bunny, religious zealots, and yummy hot cross buns.

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  1. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    Quite frankly dead meat is just that – dead meat. Whether it is halaal, kosher, humanely killed Thai dog meat, snake or any other.
    If it tastes good, I eat it.
    If Muslims are sufficiently confused about their religion that they want to eat Hot Cross Buns, give them what they want. That’s what a free market economy is all about.
    When I make hot cross buns, I make them to my own taste. I respect the religious symbolism by making them for consumption on Good Friday and, personally, abhor the practice that has been in force for many years now at chain supermarkets – that of having hot cross buns on sale from the middle of February – often even before Lent begins. However, we live in a pluralistic society and each must be allowed to do what the law and his/her conscience dictates.
    If Muslims want to eat a Christian food – LET THEM.

  2. COLLITJIES says

    I really cannot understand why there is such a huge complaint about what is printed on “hot cross bun” packages. Does it mean that a food package marked “Kosher” can only be eaten by Jews and nobody else. Hallal is only for muslim’s consumption. What a load of nonsense.

  3. small things etc.etc

  4. Hot Cross Buns are part of the pagan appendages which have come to be recognised as Christian. They are of no significance to me whatsoever. Consequently, whatever Moslems want to do to them is, to me, a matter of complete indifference. The main point is CHRIST IS RISEN

  5. Good for you Michboat….CHRIST IS RISAN, thats all that counts!!

  6. Spiritwolf says

    To b ehonest, i dont know what all the fuss was about the april fool joke. i a hot cross bun, i eat it. I dont sit for 5 hours analysing how i feel spiritually, or if the X on the bun has any religous significance for my stomache.. boy what a big hoopla about nothing.

  7. Apologies for being contrary, but we are hoping Malema’s bloating is due to a coronary problem and not gas. He has been spilling hot gas into the atmosphere long enough, and the smell is driving everyone crazy, hence regarding it as sad news that Magabe may not outlive his electorate

  8. Hot cross buns and easter eggs really has nothing to do with the true christian faith and was things that was introduced during the Victorian era. Just like Santa Claus and the christmas tree. I find it funny that moslems insist that a so called “christian” icon should be made halaal so that they can eat it as well. So do I find it funny that so called christians complain about food being marked as halaal. If they knew their bible that would have know that we can eat anything.

  9. Frank Boase says

    ArRiEhD, your so so right .CHRIST IS a RISAN,
    (sorry but irresistible).

  10. GatvolinSA says

    It was easter? Damn…missed it again. I tend to avoid made up holidays that the living word of God does not tell me to celebrate. Consequently I’m divided about the modern easter. Jesus has risen from the grave and ascended to heaven so THAT I celebrate but the bible says nothing about buns of any kind be they hot, cold, cross or happy. I also bear in mind the instruction from Jesus to judge not lest I be judged according to the same measure with which I judge my brothers. Additionally I try to remember that all men are my brothers and I am charged to love them all as Christ has loved me. If those brothers happen to be of a different faith then I am instructed to live as an example of what changes Christ has wraught in me and by such example win them over to Christ. I am not instructed in any way or form to judge them, criticise them, condemn them or otherwise try to force my will onto them. Free will is held sacred to God so who am I to say differently? If they want to eat hot cross buns then that is their choice and I don’t pay it any mind whatsoever. Instead I focus on the important facts: My God is a living God. A risen God. An eternal God and His will be done now and for ever more.

  11. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    @ GatvolinSA. Thanks for a well written comment which, from the name Jesus onwards, expresses my own personal sentiments exactly – and certainly better than I would have expressed them myself without sitting down and fully organising my thoughts before setting pen to paper – or should that be fingers to keyboard?
    Live and let live is great motto – but live as an example for others to emulate. In this way you show not only the form but also the depth of your faith. We must all try to live respected and die regretted.

  12. easter should be celebrated but easter and passover are two different things all together… as for Halaal I don’t know and care for that metter.

  13. In essence faith is a good thing, whichever faith it is.
    However, “religion” has been hijacked by Man and used in the most dastardly ways. If you really want to know all the reasons why, then
    Google “The Root of All Evil” and you will find out. I dare you !

  14. frank boase says

    Slight change of topic, or maybe it isn’t.
    “hence regarding it as sad news that Magabe may not outlive his electorate”
    Yes the world is in tears.
    Mad Magabe is god isn’t he?
    For years I have thought the guy has syphilis in what is a brain in others

  15. The hot cross bun has no religious significance whatsoever. It was designed by the Scottish Independence Party to piss off the English.

  16. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    @ Garth – I think you should change your name to Andrew

  17. Frank Boase says

    ot Cross Buns

    Thanks to; “Easter foods: history & symbolism”
    “The practice of eating special small cakes at the time of the Spring festival seems to date back at least to the ancient Greeks, but the English custom of eating spiced buns on Good Friday was perhaps institutionalized in Tudor times, when a London bylaw was introduced forbidding the sale of such buns except on Good Friday, at Christmas, and at burials. The first intimation we have of a cross appearing on the bun, in remembrance of Christ’s cross, comes in Poor Robin’s Amanack (1733): Good Friday comes this month, the old woman runs, with one or two a penny hot cross buns’ (a version of the once familiar street-dry “One-a-penny, two-a penny, hot cross buns’). At this stage the cross was presumably simply incised with a knife, rather than piped on in pastry, as is the modern commercial practice. As yet, too, the name’ of such buns was just cross buns: James Boswell recorded in his Life of Johnson (1791): 9 Apr. An. 1773 Being Good Friday I breakfasted with him and cross-buns.’ The fact that they were generally sold hot, however, seems to have led by the early nineteenth century to the incorporation of hot into their name.”
    —An A-Z of Food & Drink, John Ayto [Oxford University Press:Oxford] 2002 (p. 164)

  18. It is incredible that there are people who call themselves Christians but who can be so unChristian as to complain about Woolworths labelling their hot cross buns as Halaal. These bigots obviously are unaware of Christ’s teaching of “love thy neighbour”.
    Halaal merely denotes that nothing contained in the bun or in its preparation conflicts with Muslim dietary regulations. If Muslims like the taste of the buns why should they not be informed that they do not fall foul of their religious requirements.
    If deemed more edible by removing and discarding the cross, that would be their prerogative.
    Hopefully some Muslims will voice their opinions on Wonkie.

  19. The news report on the hot cross bun saga was released at about 8am, April 1st. I genuinely thought it was a Radio 702 April Fool joke. I can’t believe this discussion is serious.


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