Ocsar Pistorius trial cartoon

Oscar Pistorius is on trial for shooting his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp dead

Oscar Pistorius Trial – Is this a Joke?

In true tabloid form, the South African media have all but crucified Oscar Pistorius since last week’s Valentine’s day incident. For those of you awaking from hibernation, bladerunner and Paralympic gold medalist Oscar Pistorius is currently on trial for shooting his lovely girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp on the 14th February 2013.

As per the usual slack news reporting standards, there have been unverified reports of abusive behaviour from Oscar in relationships, a screaming match on the night of the murder, rumours of a love triangle with Springbok rugby player Francois Hougaard, to mention but a few of the Bold & Beautiful tidbits. Needless to say that the South African public happily gobbles it all up – after all, in the absence of Julius Malema from the news, they have been somewhat starved of sensationalist headlines recently.

By the looks of it, Wonkie reckons Oscar Pistorius, who going forward will probably be called gun-runner instead of bladerunner will likely get off on some technicality. For one thing, Hilton Botha, the investigating officer himself has several charges of attempted murder pending against him (welcome to South Africa). Botha allegedly checked out the scene of the crime without any of the cool protective gear we see on CSI, ensuring there is plenty contamination of the evidence. His story also appears to be changing as often as Paris Hilton’s underwear (and no, before you ask – they are not related).

Since the facts appear to matter only marginally in much of the South African justice system, Wonkie thought it would get a head start on the speculative conclusions. To this end Wonkie interviewed a cross-section of the public to get their views:

Jacob Zuma’s expert legal team who famously made dozens of corruption charges magically disappear commented that clearly this was a case of self-defense:

“How was Oscar Pistorius to know that it wasn’t a hijacker, or deadly assassin behind that toilet door? He weighed the odds in light of the stupidly high crime rate in South Africa and decided he had no choice but to shoot to defend himself. Unfortunately for Reeva Steenkamp, she was just at the wrong place at the wrong time and the four warning shots he fired all hit her.”

They went on to insist that the prosecution would be better off arresting the toilet door for conspiracy to murder – after all, it is clearly at fault for obstructing Oscar’s view.

Cecil the Psychopath offered an interesting theory: “Well, Oscar probably just intended to get her hundreds of flowers for Valentine’s Day… and just thought a little bit too much out of the box when it came to getting them delivered.”

Oscar Pistorius jokeMo the Mob Boss simply sighed and said: “You know, someone musta told him to take his girlfriend out on the Valentine’s Day, and I guess he misunderstood. You know, these things happen sometimes. Sad, very sad.”

In a rare interview post asset-sequestration, Julius the Malema said: “Eh yes, I want to go to the Oscars, but SARS is gunning for me at the moment.”

If one does venture to look at the facts, one could easily establish that Oscar is guilty of something. If it’s not pre-meditated murder, then he is certainly guilty of stupidity. If Oscar is not a model prisoner in jail after all this, then he can certainly model as the poster boy for Gun Control in South Africa and abroad. It is precisely for reasons like this that paranoid idiots should not be given gun licenses.

Wonkie is keen to read your theories about whether Oscar is guilty of murder or not, or if you have a complete lack of empathy then feel free to share your Oscar Pistorius jokes in the comments section below.

Leave COMMENTS on Oscar Pistorius, crime in South Africa, & Oscar Pistorius jokes here!

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Related articles on Oscar Pistorius and crime in South Africa:

  1. Oscar Pistorius jokes
  2. Crime in South Africa

Leave COMMENTS on crime, Oscar Pistorius and any tasteless contributions here!

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  1. not funny at all ….whether guilty or not, in extremely poor taste and I for one, let all know when sending me stupid emails or sms’s that I am not amused.

  2. Guilty Crucify him and send him to Robben Island….without blade runners

  3. OP jokes noted, but are in really poor taste!

  4. How quick the public are to judge

  5. Apparently not quick enough to judge when it comes to THIEVING politians!

  6. We are all sinners in the eyes of the Lord none better than the other. Never mind the papers; the courts have a job to do and leave them to it.

  7. Lest we forget he is guilty whether by mistake or on purpose for her death and he has to pay for that what about Reeva’s family would any of you be happy if you daughter got shot to death and oh lets forgive the perpetrator.The Law is the law he has to pay.

  8. Innocent until proven guilty! People are quick to joke, but reverse the roll and see how you would feel.

  9. Get off on a technicality? That happens only in the movies and in America, with easily-swayed juries, not here. When there is a mountain made up of lots of evidence, one or two bits of evidence can fall off the mountain but it still remains a mountain.

  10. Niemand van Nerens says

    One wonders when Oscar woke up, wore his legs, took his gun and went to the toilet where did he think Steenkamp was? Were they not sleeping together? I know we were not there but someone who might have heard or have a clue to answer these questions please help me.

  11. Ivory Mandla says

    It doesn’t make sence to me. I am not judging the man, i’m just trying to make sense of it for myself. When i sense danger, first thing is locate my loved ones, the ones i am trying to protect to make sure they are not already in danger. Once i locate them, i keep them behind me while i walk towards the suspected danger while screaming “someone in there, show yourself” before i even start shooting. I believe if he shouted like that she would have said something like “get hold of yourself, it’s only me. Anyway, I hate guns.

  12. Jokes about any tragedy is tasteless…and this is a tragedy.

  13. African words says

    Insensitive and extremely bad taste to make jokes about the Pistorius saga. A defenceless woman was murdered…He must get a life sentence with no remission. SA has the highest rate of femicide (women killed by their partners) in the world. That’s not a great record to have… No one seems to feel any compassion or sensitivity for her family who have lost their only daughter. My thoughts goes out to them at this time.

    • Nobody is making a joke about Reeva. People turn to humor when a violent act is so tragic that it is beyond justification. I might add a few further comments here as I have been following this trial, have taken the time to throughly observe the home, and have thought the whole story out, which includes his side. If you look at this from just observation of his home, there are many irregularities about his story. He stated during the trial that he told Reeva to bring in the fans from the patio. He stated later that the fans were outside and he brought them in. He stated a burglar was in the house. A person can only get to that bathroom one of two ways – either by going through the master bedroom where he was and walking then into the bathroom (toilet room), OR by placing a very tall (and very noisey) ladder against his house right on the wall of the master bedroom and then attempting to crawl inside a very small window. Since his bed was positioned against that very wall, most, if not all, people would have heard a ladder. If they did not, and someone THOUGHT they heard someone enter that window and lock themselves in the toilet room, there is a large window in his master bedroom on that same side as his bed where he could have easily have seen a ladder. Another thing, why go up a ladder to a small window on the second story when it would have been alot easier to place the ladder against the patio adjacent to his master bedroom if you were going to try and burglarize or kill someone? This is just ONE facet to his story that leads one to believe it is far from believable. And that is just one out of a hundred or more factors which show him as a liar. Another aspect which has not been brought up yet in this trial, and I don’t know why, is the fact that even though it is pitch dark in a room when you first awaken (this is again according to his story of events), and you may not be able to see or very little, (which I will explain is far from true) the phenomenon called ‘adaptation’ occurs and you can see fairly well in the dark. This occurs as well in a darkened movie theater when you first come in from a lit area into the dark room, you can’t see much. The adaptation from dark to dark takes relatively a short time because the eye adjusts much faster than if one goes from a lit area to a dark area. Therefore, with this in mind, and with the testimony of Oscar regarding not knowing that Reeva was not in the bed, that it was dark and he could not see the room, that he could not see into the bathroom area, is also a lie.

  14. The problem is you the media who know the story are not telling us what happened step by step. All the sites i have looked at concerning this tragedy both in RSA and here in Zambia just say arrested and charged for mudering the Girl friend on valentines. The question is What happened? Iam just getting the issue of toilet from you here whether its part of comedy or reality cant tell.

    How can a chief investigator who carries so much allegations of attempted muder be a public servant investigating such crimes, cant he interfere with evidence in his own accused crimes?

  15. Given the flawed justice system inept policing and the appealing of every court decision this could take years upon which time he will probably get a two year sentence and a R15000 fine like Winnie got for foully murdering a child. He will be free in time for the next Olympics.

  16. Yes agree with Garth and he’ll probably dedicate a medal to Reeva…imagine being Reeva’s brother…i hope this time Justice works….but it should always work!!

  17. i feel for the poor guy, he put himself in a tight spot. what ever the verdict might b, not everybody will b happy. the most certainly 2 b happy r the lawyers because of free publicity for their firm & obviously a mnca pay cheque.

  18. In a truly South African way, where we can find the funny side to every situation, we can also find the funny side in this.
    And more seriously, off cause Oscar is guilty of murder. There is no doubt that he shot Reeva. The question which must be answered in court is was it premeditated or accidental. He knew there was another person in the house when he went to bed. She accompany him. If you then here a noise in the middle of the night, surely you first check where the other person is, before you start shooting at alleged burglars. He must have been very paranoid, because apparently a week of so before the Reeva’s murder, he nearly killed his washing machine (or so he wrote on his twitter page), when he mistook the washing machine for a burglar.

  19. I am amazed by the number of “legal experts” who put in their tickey’s worth (ask your Granny what a tickey was) without any real knowledge of the facts. Let’s retrench all the detectives, police officers and court staff. The couch brigade have done all the work that is needed!!

  20. Roses are red,
    Violets are glorious
    NEVER EVER scare,
    Oscar Pretorius

  21. To point a finger at Hilton Botha is to muddy the waters a little bit. It is like a little boy caught out in a naughty deed, and now to make him look a little bit less guilty, he points to his friend and say yes it did to that, but look at what Johnny did. He is twice as guilty as I am. The Oscar Pistorius case should not be about what the policeman did, he will pay for this crimes when his time comes, but it should be about what Oscar did. There is very, very few police investigators how can say that they have never point their gun or shoot at somebody. Policemen carry guns, criminals carry guns and at some stage they will point the guns at each other. I think that no murder will every be investigated if we want to look at what the policemen who must investigate have done in the past. This is a trick of the defense to try and make Oscar look less guilty. And for contamination the crime scene. Oscar did that when he pick Reeva up off the bathroom floor. The paramedics and the security guard did that when they enter the house and the first policemen on the scene did that when they enter the premises. I am sure that not one of them had protective coverings over their shoes or their clothes for that matter. The protective coverings will only have been available once the forensic personnel arrived on the scene. Oscar interfered with a crime scene when he pick her up. She should have stayed in the bathroom until the paramedics arrived and when it was established that she was dead, everybody should have waited for the police. It would have been two members of the regular uniformed branches who would have entered the scene first. Without protective coverings and they would then have contacted the detective on duty. In this case Hilton Botha. It was just his bad luck that it was his turn to work after hours call out duties.

    • You are right. He had to make the crime scene look the way he wanted it to. I actually feel the door was not locked when she went in, running away from him, and she was trying to push on the door so he couldn’t come in while trying to make a phone call from her cell. He then shot through the door one or two times, opened the door and positioned her so he could then shoot her again to kill her, to make his story about a ‘burglar.’ I also believe they were both up late (as evidence has proved, her by stomach contents and him by computer usage), she saw something on his computer he didn’t want anyone to know – something like he used steroids, perhaps- and she, shocked by this revelation, got into an argument with him and accused him of winning gold because of the steroids and threatened to expose this knowledge to the public – well, he knew that would ruin his career and his life at that public knowledge, and he knew he had to kill her. She ran into the bathroom with her cell phone but before she could use it, he had gotten his gun and shot the first shots into the door.

  22. Guilty as Hell, the pathological lire ans spoilt little Brat . He is a Psychopath and gun happy Fool. Got his Blades on at 4 am. Very Fishy and he phones a witness to see him carry a Body down the Stairs. EISH.!!!!!!

  23. he is thinking that he will go away from what he did because he have money to buy a lay .

  24. I feel very sorry for both the families and for Oscar as well. After all the obstacles he has had to overcome and for it all to end in such a tragedy. W
    e will only know the truth when the case comes to court, but unfortunately at the moment it looks as if he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

  25. don’t you think talking about Prestorius and his girlfriend? if he is guilty he must dance to the music, we are waiting for the Government to tell us , how much are they going to spend in Nkadla-gate Provident Fund,how much are they going to steal and give to Malema, and how much is Sifiso Zulu going to pay the ANC for the Parole he just recieved, and how this Government is going to fix the mess our Public Hospitals are in!! , i am not interested in Pretorius’ case, He is not an ANC Member, so nothing is interesting me about him,tell me More about Zuma and his plans to re-build a better South Africa for all, no, not about this Leg-less Pretoriuos, Next we will be told that he escaped jail and left his legs behind,no,no,no,no!!!


    Groot genugtig ke^rels, Oscar is vokken skuldig . . . van wat ? Dit moet die Hof nog kan besluit. Moord in ‘n liefdesverhaal is ‘n hoeveel eeuelanke obsessie . . . . van Griekse Mitiologie af . . . selfmoord ook ! Niks nuut nie.

    Dit is die vooruitgestelde doel van Steel en Vekragting wat Geweld en Moord skielik ‘n sosiale werwakking moet opdok.

    Ek waarsku julle almal met ‘guns’: pasop, hierdie groot bohaai oor arme Oscar se kranksinnige uitlating oor sy liefdeskak is bloot ‘n poging om mense weg te skrik van die laaste uitweg teen geweld in hierdie Land wat ernstig gedreig word deur the very huge majority of the Country . . . .unemployed, uneducated, impoverished masses…, who were all expecting . . .rightly so as the money has always been there. to have a house , job and all teh other stuff normal people have.

  27. Seems certain he will get off with a light sentence because the cops are incompetent.

  28. From a woman’s perspective I should just like to say to you guys, that at the end of the day you need to see that your testosterone is not mis-directed.

    Some of these judgmental and hostile comments make one wonder……..

  29. Whether Pistorious intended to intentionally murder the beautiful Reeva or not, he still deliberately and intentionally killed a human being when his own life was not in any kind of danger. That is most definitely pre-meditated murder like it or not. Prosecuter Gerrie Nel will not be unduly worried about the bail verdict because Pistorious has revealed his side of the full version of events which he will not be able to reasonably change at the actual trial. All that a good detective and prosecuter team has to concentrate on now is to dismantle Pistorious’s version piece by piece.

  30. Oscar Pistol-ius

  31. Koklong75, it is great that you are only interested in the ANC, but please remember the ANC is only a political entity not South Africa.
    Boerkie, yes he is guilty but he must plead not guilty to the charge of premeditated murder, the police will not be able to prove that. All they can prove is that Oscar killed his girlfriend based on his own confession. What do they do then. let him walk.

  32. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    Well, well, well! One million Rand bail. Oscar should change his name to Pist-off-ius.
    I, most certainly, would question the “equality” in this “great land of ours” if this had happened to me.
    In another part of the country, a (black) man (is alleged to have) killed not only his wife/girlfriend but two other persons also. He also got bail. R 5000.
    Yes – Oscar should definitely be Pist-off-ius at this blatant discrimination.

  33. voice_of_truth says

    To all the people who say “why didn’t he check where she was before he shot”
    WELCOME TO SOUTH AFRICA! The place where you shoot first and ask questions later.

  34. After listening to the Magistrates remarks and what took place during the initial investigation, Oscar will be found guilty of Culpable homicide and receive a short sentence for being Negligent as his life at the time of shooting was not in Danger. The case of Murder is something of History.

  35. I think that if the prosecutor does not officially downgrade the current charge of pre-meditated murder before the trial date, Pistorious under the advice of his lawyer will inevitably confess to the crime of murder and he will strike a plea bargain with the state. This could then alleviate his time in jail and he will undoubtedly retain the admiration of some of his dumb adoring fans in the crime capital of the world -South Africa.

  36. Yes Wonkie, paranoid idiots should not be given gun licences, but then again, how will they judge that the person is paranoid only god knows. If Oscar didn’t have a gun, he would not have killed Reeva Steenkamp. There is another case also, where a security guard shot his girl friend with his own gun. How many people must die before the government decides enough is enough and enforces a law that prohibits civilians from owning guns? I have realised that a woman who is in an abusive relationship tends to ignore all the warning signs because she is blinded by love. When a man sleeps with dangerous weapons like a knife under his pillow or hides a gun next to his bed, you should be very worried. Another red flag is when a man is very possessive and extremely jealous. I’m not a psychologist but one of my friends wife went through this and ended up in hospital. Lucky for her, she was looking death into the eye. The sad thing is that during the 1980s, cases like these were swept under the carpet. Sadly, it’s too late for poor little Reeva Steenkamp-but if you are in this situation, make your move now. Women, please wake up and smell the coffee. If you think you are madly in love, then talk to your man and get help. If he is in denial, walk away while you are still breathing. The say a leopard never change its spots. God bless us all.

  37. OutofAfrica says

    Piedpyper; Women who stay with abusive men do not do so because of love, but because of multiple other psychological reasons that fall under the heading of C0-DEPENDENCY, and yes, they need help. About the guns; having laws that prohibit citizens from owning guns only disarms law-abiding people – criminals will always have guns regardless. Read some stats on this from various countries. Aberrant and bad behaviour is unfortunately part of the human condition and no law can can eliminate it.

  38. accusaed remain innocent until proved guilty by a competent tribunal

  39. Isn’t it disgraceful that there is now an entire industry (the Media of all varieties) that does nothing good, just makes it’s money from being disgusting & lewd?

  40. Those that find the ‘Media’ as well others disgraceful for prejudging what happened that Valentine morning in OPs house are surely being unrealistic to the extreme. The Pistorious killing of Reeva whether deliberate or not, is high profile and a real mystery that is bound to attract reporting by the world media and prejudgment as well as comments by amateur detectives. After-all, the mystery of who really was the London ‘Jack the Ripper’ is still being discussed world wide and that took place in the latter half of the 19th century.

  41. Well, still seems strange that by the time the investigating officer got there (and they complain about him contaminating the scene), his friend and lawyer were already there. She apparently died while he carried her downstairs. Why did he do that? As a mother and even my husband and sons know, never to move someone who has been injured. So why carry her downstairs. Much more to this. He doesnt have a leg to stand on as far as I am concerned but let the courts decide for themselves.

  42. If you disarm the Public, you open the Road for a Criminal or Dictatorship Government to enslave the Public so those anti gun Lobby Fools, think again before you open your foolish mouth. There are LESS gun killings than there are Taxi Killings. BAN Mini bus Taxis as they are the biggest killers of People. In South Africa, 2 to 300 People per day, never mind the new born being Murdered in a Poorly run Hospital and Health Department.

  43. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    @ Shumba et al
    Can we please stop such references as “He doesnt have a leg to stand on …” – it is OLD and not funny anymore.
    @ Lewd – your comment about the media is well taken – “… being disgusting & lewd …” – now its time to hear from “Disgusting”.

    Mzu – where are you? anyone would be certain that TWO Pistoriuses being charged with killing TWO women would bring you out of the woodwork (Sorry Juli-arse – no offence intended!).

  44. where oh where is Mzu now that we really need her’ Unfortunately Boerkie is correct without the legal and illegal guns we are headed for a dictatorship or occupation. The British conquered an empire with the two inch naval cannon.

  45. OutofAfrica says

    Apropos guns and dictatorships, google http://www.homelandsecurityus.com/archives/6048

  46. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    @ OutofAfrica – I went directly to this URL and read it.
    This diatribe is so far out on the right fringe that the authors would probably think that Eugene Terreblanche was a leftist pinko. And we poor people thought he was a right wing “White Afrikaner” supremacist extremist! How unimaginative we must be!
    All guns have the potential to kill people. The majority are owned by fearful people and fearful people are the least qualified to hold a gun – full stop (that’s ‘period’ to you in America) – exclamation mark – all underlined twice.

  47. The court heard that Pistorius at least owned one firearm and had applied for licences for six more. The internet has filled with ill-informed misrepresentations of a South Africa awash with guns. The facts tell a different story: 12 guns for every 100 people, compared with 31 in France, 45 in Switzerland and 88 in the US.

  48. OutofAfrica says

    @Corny: Are you jumping down my throat – I am only sharing information! Hagman might be too conservative for you, but he brings to light a lot of government skullduggery (i.e. what happened in Benghazi etc) Yes, guns have the potential to kill, as do many other things (pas op the black taxis.) Where I live – which is NOT in America,( and I know what a full stop is) I carry a gun because I don’t want to be chopped by a nut wielding a machete. Call it fear if you like, I call it sensible protection. And I am very qualified to hold, carry and shoot a gun. To each his own. Now go and have a scotch.

  49. Yussus OutofAfrica, that is some reaction Corny may be a pinko lefty but he does not need your diatribe. However I read Haagman’s blog and I do agree that the US legal system cannot be changed either by the President, Congress or The senate. The issue facing gun crazy Americans is one of attitude, like we have a host of rape crazy citizens. Nothing will change if we dont change our attitude. (or lock up all the crazies)

  50. Piedpyper says

    Welcome to the gun crazy family of Pistorius. Whilst I was reading through my sunday newspaper, I came across this article:

    The Pistorius family owns 55 firearms, reported Beeld Naweek on Suturday. Oscar Pistorius father, three uncles and grandfather own 55 firearms between the five of them, reported the Afrikaans daily. His father, Henke, has four firearms registered in his name, his grandfather, Hendrik, has 10 firearms in his name, his uncle Arnold, also owns 10, while another uncle, Theo, who is a hunter, owns 17, and a third uncle, Leo, owns 14.

    In 2012, the year he made history as the first double amputee olympic runner, Oscar Pistorius bought six guns for what he planned to be a collection of US and South African manufactured firearms, according to the collector’s club he joined last April. Talk about fearful people in a democratic state. How can the government allow them to own so many guns? To declare war against the defenceless? It is people like these who shoot at innocent people and later tell the world that they thought they were intruders. It is high time now that all civillians who owns firearm/s be disarmed and send back to training on how to handle firearm/s and when to shoot.

  51. And now, Oscar’s father, Henke has told the British newspaper that his family owned guns for their own safety. I disagree with the statement – CRIME HAS NO COLOUR – there are many crimes against all races in south africa and not specifically to a colour – OBVIOUSLY you will try to restore your ruined reputation by looking for excuses based around the occurrence of 14 february – my opinion – if you have committed a crime you either blame it on society – crime out of control – apartheid or whatever in an attempt to get you off the hook lightly and try to get the focus on the reality of the matter.

  52. Ivory Mandla says

    Well, there are many who own guns for what ever personal reasons and that is not the question; murder of a young lady is.

  53. not taking reevas side or Oscar. she is a cheater and wasn’t home the night of valentines day! reason 4 him to think its a burglar. hello its valentines day! he new she was cheating and what does love birds do on valentines day? second reason he shot her he was awake because what man can sleep knowing what his gal and lover doing ? he herd her come in took the gun went to the toilet and did what a depressed person is capable of doing! if they can commit suicide while depressed its sure not that difficult to commit homicide. after the 4 loud shots it was mos a gun he snapped back to reality and did what any one would do if there loved one was hurt cheater or the not, ill even help a stranger who is busy dying he tried helping her even phoned for help. so if a depressed person is not in their original state of mind can you blame him for shooting her or can you blame her for making him depressed then got shot?

  54. Just like a politician he was not advised that he was going to be arrested and charged therefore his rights have been violated and he must be exonerated. Or does that just happen to JZ


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