Alfie and the UK teenage pregnancy crisis cartoon
One has to admire the UK for constantly innovating on entertainment. Just when you think reality showbiz has finally crashed with the downfall of Channel 4′s Celebrity Big Brother, Max Clifford – publicist – goes beserk publicising the results of some poor barely teenage sod’s bedroom exploits. For those of you not in tune with the hip at the moment, shooting – pardon the pun – for having a baby as soon as possible seems to be all the rage in the UK right now.
Alfie Patten, a 13 year old has apparently fathered a child with his 15 year old girlfriend, Chantelle Steadman. Wonkie believes the outcome of the DNA test is still pending – critical only because a number of other randy teenage boys having alleged to have slept with Chantelle as well are also claiming to have the dubious honour of fathering her child. Alfie admitted he didn’t think too deeply about how he was going to support his new daughter, Maisie Roxanne. Alfie is reported to receive 10 quid pocket money at times from his dad – Wonkie imagines he may be asking for a small increase in his weekly allowance really, really soon.
Dennis Patten, Alfie’s 45 year old dad, said his son was fully committed to his new role as a young father. At 13, Alfie will no doubt set an excellent role model for his young daughter and Wonkie is certain they will have much fun growing up together.
Politically, the Tories continue to bleat on about the destruction of the fabric of society and British family values. Gordon Brown on the other hand will probably have to quickly rethink his strategy on sex education for British 5 year olds.
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February 18th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
I don’t think any of the “other randy teenage boys having alleged to have slept with Chantelle”..were doing any sleeping at all!..viva Labour Britain!!
February 19th, 2009 at 12:43 am
I wonder how long before Alfie really does become some twisted government-backed reality TV show.
February 19th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Its all nonsense for the teenagers to have babys.
February 19th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Funny how the Tories are suddenly all moral now that they’re not in power.
January 15th, 2010 at 1:18 am
great post thanx very much for writing it.