Julius Malema meet Guru cartoon

Julius Malema meet Guru

Julius Malema meets The Guru

As regular readers will know, Wonkie has long been a fan of Julius Malema. With that in mind, it is increasingly disturbing to see the amount of negative press coverage the young lion has been receiving lately. If only the likes of the ANCYL, Wonkie and a few cruel despots around the world stand up in his defence, one has to ponder Julius’s continued longevity in the news.

Malema’s most recent well-informed adventure involved attacking the President of Botswana, Ian Khama. Apparently, a regime change is urgently required in his country to save it from the Western Imperialist puppets. Wonkie, as always, appreciates Malema’s visionary viewpoint, particularly since Western Imperialist puppets pose a legitimate threat to make Botswana even more prosperous, thereby isolating the country further in Africa. Malema also exposed the African Union (AU) as being dysfunctional by simply stating it confidently.

The ANC leadership team, in response to Malema’s insights, gave him a lovely tongue-wagging that would have made even the most enthusiastic labrador proud. Fortunately, it is likely to be of no consequence whatsoever – particularly considering the reasons why the ANC needs Julius Malema.

From the jealous haters envious about Malema’s riches and his lavish lifestyle, to being miscalculated on major economic issues like nationalisation of mines, South Africa continues to torment poor Julius. So ends another episode of the blatant victimisation of Malema.

Wonkie has a dream, that one day, there will be more than just a single Malema to keep the country entertained and on its toes. That other South Africans will, finally, join in and relieve him of his enormous burden of making the country smile, grimace, laugh and exercise their middle fingers. Alas, for now we are left with weak substitutes like Barry Hilton.

For those of you that are curious about Malema’s outcome with the Guru above, Wonkie is pleased to announce that a camera phone hacked by a secret News of the World agent captured a video clip out in a field, behind some mountains, far, far away:

For more on the Guru cartoon, or to ask the Guru your own pressing question, please visit Wabber, a new cartoon website that has nothing at all to do with politics! For those of you who are not familiar with the acronym WAB, it stands for Work Avoidance Behaviour – enjoy!


Guru Cartoon - Wabber
Click to leave YOUR OPINION on Julius Malema, Botswana and The Guru.
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For related Wonkie articles, please check out the post excerpts on Julius Malema news.

Click to leave YOUR OPINION on Julius Malema, Botswana and The Guru.

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  1. will julius please leave

  2. notaround says

    just spilt my coffee all over my desk and my keyboard as I am helplessly laughing…………………….way to go Wonkie. You tell it as it is !!

  3. Botswana has the death penalty by hanging. I would suggest that Malema and some of his thugs go and criticize the president on his home soil. It would certainly be bye and good riddance to the fat lump of stinky jelly and his bad breath followers.

  4. Collitjies says

    It pumpkin head at it as usual with his ramblings and intefearence in another countries internal affairs??

  5. Llewellyn says

    I dont know what country you live in but julius and his ideas will only lead this country closer to an uprising like that in tunesia,everywhere you are you wil hearl talk of an uprising ,it is going to happen,all it needs is a spark

  6. I don’t know how to describe this confused Malema id..t.To hell with his tongue wagging gymnastics.He should go back to school.Who does he think he is ?Lord have mercy

  7. Hitlers, great , great, grandchild.

  8. That small boy is talking rubbish, he was born yesterday and thinks he knows everything…the Botswana president is way way way too clever nd mature than “him”…please take the young man back to school, he needs counselling nd education, proper education!!!

  9. The arrogance of Malema still astounds me?
    Where and how does he get off critizing Botswana Gov and their Pres. where people live in a peaceful democracy, have food to eat, good schools and are actually able to improve their lot in life….while our other neighbour, Zim, is a complete and utter basket case of corruption, run by power grubbing dicktatorship who have used their power to oppress and abuse their populace and ruined the economy, education, health dept resulting in hundreds of thousands of refugee’s….U r the puppet Malema….a ZANU-PF puppet!!
    And he actually wants us to believe he has the people of Africa’s best interests at heart.
    To all YL members and supporters…I have this to say…..if his (Malema’s) rhetoric/speeches sounds like ZANU-PF, smells like ZANU-PF and tastes like ZANU-PF…..then they probably are ZANU-PF !

    So if you really want to follow broken, destructible, idiotic policies that have proven to result in MASSIVE starvation, unemployment and a refugee crisis…..then keep supporting Malema! Now if most of the refugees IN THIS CONTINENT are flocking our country as a result of starvation and unemployment, where are we (THE CITIZEN OF THIS COUNTRY) gonna flock to when the same crisis hits our shores? Anyone else who actually see’s the light and hasn’t yet been too brainwashed to think for themselves……use your brains, feet and most importantly VOTE to get this man as far away from politics as possible !

  10. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    To answer Brian C’s question – Moolius Jalema thinks he is ANC’s GOD – and the first and greatest of his commandments (and it is carved in stone) is “Thou shalt listen to and repeat every utterance of your god and it shall be the mantra of the day”
    The second commandment is of almost equal importance ” The Leadership of the ANC shall copy all of the utterances of the god Moolius Jalema”
    The third is “Those within the ANC who criticise their god shall be cast into the outer light with all the whites, farmers and Ian Khama and all of the black running dogs of the western imperialists”.
    @ Brian – I hope this answers your question.
    PS I’m not sure who did the carving of the commandments – but at least it wasn’t on WOOD.

  11. Siyabulela says

    The man z out of hz mind, the only thing h z trying 2 do z to move away da whole scandal abt hm n fraud

  12. Poor delama, lets be grateful we have a puppet that makes us laugh. He is not afraid of the hawks and public but of his family members that might find out now that their ancestors left all their loot in a trust fund so tender-ly that he might have to share it now with all of them.

  13. black night says

    mampara for life – that is male – ma

  14. He is currently studying a BA in politics through Unisa. So he seems to think he is qualified already. Would love to see those results.

  15. Shivambu and other YL cohorts will do assignments for him.

  16. Pied forgot he is a genius and passed in advance

  17. @Piedpyper: I will personally give His Royal Highness Mr JuJu Malema a lift to Botswana to meet their president. Will you join me as his body guard ???

  18. @ Peace, maybe he designed and wrote the text book and the exam questions himself too, just for safety?

  19. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    @ notaround. Whose bodyguard? Ian Khama’s?

  20. Notaround,, good comment, maybe they all are doing his course and he is practicing his theory on the youth. Who says the president of Botswana would want to meet him. He is obviously qualified already

  21. @a-maize-ingly-corny – LOL, no…………Malema’s, we just not very good at it hahahahaha, read all the comments you will get the idea.

  22. @ Peace. the president will welcome him with open arms and then lock him up and take him to the gallows, any way that was more or less my strange dream last night LOL

  23. sorry guys, I think Wonkie put something in my coffee this morning, cannot stop laughing.

  24. notaround its not wonkie it was the comic puppet he is just getting funnier all the time.

  25. @notaround, only when he promises to shut his dirty mouth up and give us the platform to apologise on his behalf to the Honourable Sir Ian Khama about the vitriolic he spewed recently…only then i can accompany you… otherwise it would certainly be bye to us!!!

    @Peace, in his latest statement, he was clearly refering to JZ when he said this country cannot be led by uneducated people, just because he is doing BA in politics with Unisa. I wonder how did he gain entry to Unisa without a matric pass. Now, as far as i am concerned, since the inception of our democracy, only two presidents has led the country before Zuma so far, Madiba and Mbeki, those were intellectuals.

  26. notaround says

    Eish, me thinks we in big big trouble

  27. Pied true he was having a dig at Zuma. As far as Unisa is concerned I bear witness of some of our employees (where I was previously employed) entered courses with Unisa and I know for a fact they did not have matric. The company refunded all study fees paid by employees after they passed and got their degrees. Non of those passed which we knew would happen as their work performance and skills was far below requirements, so much for aa.
    Two of the elderly men were trained by our own managers of specific departments and flourished in their jobs, they could read and write when they started they were honest, willing and dedicated. They remained in those positions until the day we closed the doors. We recommended them to other similar companies for those particular job descriptions. They are still doing well.

  28. @Peace, Thanks for enlightening me. We are waiting for the end results with bated breath!

  29. Interesting subjects I saw somewhere that moosias is going to use for his Phd degree: Zoomacology, Malemanometrics and Mugabenology. Hopefully his theses will become available in a book titled: Malemania.

  30. notaround says

    @Peace, you crack me up, now I just spluttered my coffee all over my keyboard again. One Question: who will buy this book Malemania???

  31. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    @ Peace – what about that favourite corruption study – Shaikinetics ?

  32. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    @ notaround – nobody will buy it – it will not be on sale – it will be given as a free gift when you pay R 78000 (in cash) for a tour of his R 16 million mansion.

  33. Thank goodness I am not drinking coffee at the moment.
    The enlightening part is. If you study that book and you know it off by heart you guaranteed a position as main script writer at Dizney studios.
    They already have his character: Embryo because he will never see the light.

  34. @Peace, ha!ha!ha!haaaaaa…i like this one. What about the Celeology?

  35. Pied you should send your recommendations to juju direct then he can enrich his theses. This may also help the scriptwriter to keep a long term comedy going.

  36. By the way mal – ema will be changing his singing from mallades to rock soon.
    Title: Jailhouse rock

  37. Swaziland is his next target, the idiot is really making a fool of the ANC`ANCER ,then next is Lesotho,hope he does not forget Mozambique.

  38. Peace who is Embryo? i like this topic very much, everybody seems to be laughing. If i read malemas book will it improve my grammar or my humor.

  39. notaround says

    Welcome Impi, we just laughing instead of crying………………maybe grammar will improve too, but you should get a laugh for sure.

  40. notaround says

    eish I do not have R 7800 cash, sure someone will take some photographs to show me instead ??

  41. That is the only good thing he can do is to make the educated laugh. He has got other family in parliament too, i come from Pholekwane and know. It is only the very young there that listens to his poison, nobody ever teaches them to laugh. How can his book be funny if those who like him never laugh.

  42. notaround says

    @Impi, let us be honest here, if you are black, uneducated, without work, living in squalor, there is not much to laugh about. Just wish there was something that could be done about it. Something real !!

  43. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    Thanks notaround – that sure brought our asses back to the ground with a thump!
    Unfortunately the black, uneducated, unemployed, squalor-living millions in South Africa will hardly get a chance to be educated by this thread – more’s the pity. Maybe some of the more educated, employed, middle- and upper- income-earning black populace will take note of our varied comments and start educating their less fortunate brethren because, although the likes of Mzu cannot stand his majesty king Mooliass Jalema, he and his like-minded ‘thinkers’ will prattle on against anything that does not come from a black mouth.
    It is time that black men of substance – and I mean mental and philosophical substance – start to speak up about the absurdities of this big-mouthed child’s crazy utterances.

  44. notaround says

    @a-maize-ingly-corny – That is a pleasure *grins* , so very sorry, have now decided to swop my coffee with a glass of wine and lets get real. Will have to have a chat with Tokyo Sexwale about this, you are so right !!

  45. I often visit Zanspruit squatter camp on weekends, the issue there is very bad.
    Children dont want to go to school they walk around and dont want to be educated. There is also not enough taps and toilets and the ward councillor never comes around. There is also no decent streets. The people did not want to vote but voting time the anc came around with promises and now it is still the same. People who want to help finds it difficult to get in there so they rather stay away. I also try and help little bit but it only helps a old couple who are struggling. The children is a big problem with drugs, where do they get the money. We hope one day there will be no squatter camps and decent buildings for everybody,, those not employed can help to build. You will cry if you see that camp it is a very sad place. Malema’s mouth is big, but will he live there, no water, no toilet, no security.. They all sit in big houses, drive smart cars have lots of money, and all they do for the poor is to use them for their votes. Many blacks must still open their eyes, study and work hard then we will come right.

  46. Sorry impi only have time now to answer you; Who is Embryo, if you are a male ask your doctor if you are a lady ask any nursing sister.
    Dalema wants to conquer Africa from Cape to Cairo. but what is he going to do with it?? sell it to the Western capitalists? Looks like that embryo will never develop to see the light.

  47. notaround says

    @impi – Zandspruit in Honeydew, a camp I saw develop overnight. We used to stable the childrens ponies on a plot there. One day I think around 1996/1997, we noticed some squatters huts on the plot, the next day more, then they took over a couple of other plots and before you knew it, there were people everywhere. My domestic moved in there, she said she had been promised her own house, but you had to pay and then build a hut, forget how much. I was astonished at the speed they grew. Now what I would like to know where did those people come from? Where did they live before? ?Why did they choose to move there and live in that squalor? The final question is what to do about it? My children still live at home with me, they cannot afford to rent a flat or share digs like we used to do when we turned 18, never mind buy their own car, even second hand. They are desperate for any job even though they both have university education which by the way I had to get a loan from the bank to pay for, they did not get it for free. Free Education, Free Healthcare, Free Housing, Free Electricity, Telephone, Water for all ??? oh no I forget , only for certain people. Promises are so easy to make, it is to keep them that is so difficult. We have thousands of people here in South Africa that feels the way you and I do, and try to make that little bit of difference by giving a helping hand here and there, it is a drop in the ocean ! While Zuma, Malema and their cronies sit in riches. I was never for the NP, I fought them every inch I could, but at least things worked while they were in charge and I never saw any of them live in mansions or drive luxury cars or have secret trust accounts, fancy clothes or Rolex watches. Eish, we are in groot kak here.

  48. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    @ notaround – and from where does the ‘groot kak’ come? From the mouths of king Mooli-ass and his running dogs!

  49. That is the problem they come from all over the country, kwazulu, east cape, pholekwane, north west looking for work. I came here after i married my husband was working in town. We had a small house rented in Soweto. I found a job too first as domestic . My son was born and when he was 3 months old he left and we never see him again. My employers have offices in the house they started to teach me filing, answering the phone , and typing envelopes.
    I still am with them and help the business with all the black clients that do not speak english. Today i am here 22 years and never one complain, they also gave lots of help , my baby was with me at work, today he is 20 and a good boy he never mixed with bad people. He is studying now, he use to write on wonkie but is not here anymore so i am writing now.

  50. notaround says

    @ impi. I admire you, keep up the good work.

  51. Thank you notaround i dont want to say too much but keeping wonkie secret from my friends is more fun. Already said too much.

  52. I am rather upset that Juju has been referred to as pumpkin head, I would have thought that cabbage head is mor appropriate.

  53. Listening to SAFM this morning there was big debate on the loan that South Africa is giving to Mswati King of Wonderland. I fail to hear any comment from Fatboy about the absolute and tyrannical monarchy in Wonderland, or that the ANC is banned there along with all other parties, that Unions such as Cosatu are illegal, or comments about the increasing number of economic and political refugees from the brutality of the Swazi state. Yet Fatboy cabbage head can attack Ian Khama of Botswana and threaten another country to overthrow their government on the basis that Ian Khama was not elected and that his mother is white. Firstly like JZ who was not elected by the people, he was chosen by the ANC so was Khama chosen by the majority party in Botswana. Secondly Mswati was not elected and not chosen, he just assumes that being King is his divine right. The people of Swaziland are subjects of the King not citizens of the state. Finally Fatboy’s comments demonstrate that he is a racist pig. As for his education, he never passed Matric, only now he registers for Politics 101, he knows nothing about economics yet mouths off most of the time about something he knows nothing about. I suggest that he visits Ian Khama and tells him to remove himself from office. Now that I have upset all the wonkie correspondents who have had a lovely morning laughing at the antics of Juju, have a nice day!

  54. Garth, he is still an embryo in my thoughts, they know nothing. It is on account of his lack of knowledge that he tries and influences the street mongers with his big mouth. Pity that they can not really differentiate between right and wrong as they themselves know nothing except the carbage that they are swallowing. Its all that distorted ideas in the minds of the paupers that can cause a serious uproar. There are many that is totally against their current circumstances and hopefully they will dispose of the idea that they must vote for the anc for total freedom OF WHAT NOW!! They have freedom but not freedom of choice as the anc will not allow that.

  55. Malema = Mal-enema. The enema is ineffective on him so his mouth spews forth the sh*t.

  56. Juju reminds me of what my dad told us many years ago, A little knowledge is a big danger. Unisa amazes me with the acceptance of students.

    Did you hear about the big crash caused by a multitude of trash!!
    mzu’s computer

  57. Dineshnair says

    Hi i always have a rip when see your cartoons. but this one i need to bring to ur notice that u have used the pic of his holiness sRI SRI RAVI SHANKAR. Please in future do not use his pics in any context. We respect him and his contribution to the world. Thanking you.

  58. Here we go again, Moolius Jalema and his greatest buddy puppet Fikile Mbalula tells students at UJ Soweto campus that nationalisation would lead to industrialisation, job creation and will unite us. He went further and said that mines have brought nothing but pain, suffering and illnesses.

    Moolius is confusing our kids. Nationalisation will unite us to ensalvement by the corrupt populist demagogue, illnesses, pains, suffering and diseases being the order of the day. So, Moolius Jalema, please stop playing politics and concerntrate on your studies. You still have to pass your BA and get a degree so that you can become a productive member of society instead of a populist wannabe superman.

  59. The joke is he is studying politics in stead of economics. Plus he wants all universities to provide free education, who is going to pay salaries, upkeep, required equipment, lodging costs etc………. and the majority gobbles and believes this nonsense. First of all we fought for democracy not dictatorship. They do not know to difference. Never agreed or voted prior to 1994 but were actively involved for change to democracy. Now we have dictatorship with only democratic jacket for the rest of the world to believe all is well. They do not even have enough savvy to realize that with modern technology the whole world is already aware of what is happening here. Soon we might see big things happening. The happenings in Zim is not being noted by them either. They voted for change, got dictatorship, now no food, no jobs, no money and they fleeing from a disaster to us and neighboring countries, Namibia and Botswana seeking asylum from that which they voted for.

  60. Just heard on the radio that the FF is in touch with the Botswana Government re embryo’s outburst on them. This may have serious repercussions on the economic relationship plus plus. The anc has also been caught out on lying to the public about their nationalization program. So the puppet is being used to inform and soothe the so called masses. He is certainly being charged up by anc batteries. Their wickedness and hidden agendas are now becoming public.

  61. This Moolie-ass don’t cease to amaze…for every comment he makes, he knows there will be a widespread news coverage…for every person who shakes their heads in sheer stupidity of what he says, there will be five that will applaud and ebrace that for which he claims to stand. Can someone out there please muzzle this ANCYL lunatic!!! We cannot afford people like him to negatively impact our economy…especially in light of a doubble dip recession looming! I cannot believe he is the idiot that people want to believe he is.

    And one other thing that he must know is, wealth is not the source of unity, racial tolerance, hard work and education, all the things you so blatantly oppose, those are the sources of unity!

  62. notaround says

    I have long had the suspicion that Moolie is a puppet. Recent events convince me that someone with a hidden agenda is indeed pulling the strings. This idiot could not come up with all this crap on his own, wonder if Oom Zuma is involved or something even more sinister?? What you guys think ???

  63. I love humor , but hate injustice but I have experienced God’s intervention in my life on many occasions so therefor I do not have any fear. Knowing since 1973 that there is going to be Divine Intervention here one day. Things have to become so bad and it will appear that there is no human force to save us, that is when our people will start turning back to GOD and start praying for deliverance. Even history proves that fact. The biggest curse that hit most african and other countries is worshipping of ancestral spirits.
    Leviticus 20 vers 6 ” If anyone goes for advice to people who consult the spirits of the dead, I will turn against them and will no longer consider them MY people. That is the cause of our countries problem no matter if it is believed or not they can not make GOD any less real. So we should not be concerned as our Redeemer lives and is forever. Just imagine can juju’s poisoning mouth blowing match up against a tornado?? If he really wants to do good like he claims, he should repent and starting promoting peace for all.

  64. wonkie, malema just goes overboard each time he opens his mouth, i think he was using kgama to divert the media attention on his lavish lifestyle. i am also shocked by the racist tone echoed by his sentiments on de klerk. what he is saying is the truth, the fact that de klerk had no choice, but do we still need to have people with such racist undertones? it scares me to bits that there are whites who strongly feel the same way about blacks. this country will never ever be united. the unity espoused by mandela is utopic. its really scarry. malema scared me. and by the way i am african african.

  65. Yes it is all because that boy julius never got a hiding and he is a big mental case. No doctor clever enough to help him. You look at his eyes and you see the devil. Like peace i also pray and trust that the anc falls flat. They wasted 100 mil rand on a youth party, why not on education or food for the poor.
    Their eyes only sees their own pockets now please people we must all pray that God will change this country quickly, maybe He will come and change the whole world soon. i hope.

  66. You are a winner! email me at [contact details removed by moderators]

  67. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    @ A Daft Scots Lass – you got one thing right – we who write on this blog are ALL winners for we share our thoughts and opinions without fear or favour. YOU, on the other hand, are a LOSER. None of us is interested in whatever scam you have cooked up.
    @ the moderators at Wonkie. Thanks for showing her the door!!!

  68. A-maize and all, A daft scots lass is just another embryo, lets call them embryo’s that is the stage their operation “indigenisation” of africa is at the moment. SA Embryo is their puppet here , aiming at the young and energetic to operate their bandit functions. Nationalization of all entities their main objectives. The pity is non of them understands the consequences and are just looking with uncle Sgrooge eyes what is in it for them. The populace is unaware that this is going to mean much much less for them. There will not be another country for them to flee to for food , healthcare etc , S A is full of refugees from neighboring states and the same fate is going to hit them here. As a Japanese nuclear scientist at Tokyo Electricity said regarding the consequences of the nuclear leaks after the quake: The road to desctruction is widely open, but the door to escape is narrow and only a few can pass through. I am not concerned as I know the route to escape , but these poor blind youngsters running for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow only to find that the rainbow has disappeared and there is no pot of gold.

  69. I think i know who is embryo, embryo is under cover as anc but major interest and activist for killuminati who wants to takeover africa. cosatu i think also involved. there is much that will be exposed. they think revolution and killing “supremists” is going to give them freedom but i thank GOD who knows their plans and HE can and will stop it we pray. Pray for that action so the embryo s can see the light, before it is too late. they confusing our youth but want them for their strength and energy. I must be careful even if i not fear they will kill me as informer if they know.

  70. i am going to change my address as i am using someone else’s computer network they must not get into trouble . so i say goodbye to my friends by wonkie. dont worry but you must know what they are doing is evil and they curse GOD so HE will sort them out.

  71. a-maize-ingly-corny says

    I just came across this one and thought you might bot have seen it yet.

    David Bullard’s article on Malema

    The antics of Julius Malema may be good for a laugh now but they remind me of the early days of Idi Amin. Young JuJu is already allowed to travel in a car with no number plates with no fear of prosecution. He refuses to give answers to the media as to how he acquired such wealth in such a short time and he may even enjoy special status with the Receiver of Revenue. In the face of overwhelming evidence that he’s a sleazebag the ruling party remain silent. Perhaps they have their own plans for JuJu but maybe they are quietly chuckling to themselves and saying “that’s my boy”. If it’s the latter then we really are up shit creek without a paddle. We will look back on 2010 not as the year we hosted the FIFA World Cup but as the year the cancer that destroyed the country was first detected and identified. We’ve had some low lifes before and many of them from the ANCYL, but Malema’s combination of stupidity, greed and arrogance plus his willingness and ability to lie with a straight face make him a man to be feared. We may be chortling at his antics now but we won’t be laughing when his goons start kicking in the heads of his political enemies. If JuJu wants something JuJu gets it, so there’ll be no argument about the nationalisation of the mines whatever JZ may have said to Gordon Brown. It won’t be JZ’s government any more so it will have been no lie for him to say that “my government have no plans to nationalise the mines”. Things change quickly in Africa and a verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on as Sam Goldwyn once said.
    And the media won’t fare too well either. JuJu will by that time have declared himself emperor for life and will be throwing huge parties and feeding the likes of Stephen Grootes and Justice Malala to his pet lions and videoing it for YouTube.
    If you think Malema is a joke look at his supporters. Are they livid that he has bilked the poor and lives a life of luxury? Of course not. To them he is the man who, along with people like Jimmy Manyi, is finally going to put the whites in their place. These are the chaps whose destiny it is to foment racial hatred. It’s only a matter of time before white bank accounts will be frozen and redistributed to the needy. The argument will be typical Malema logic… you can’t need the money if you leave it in the bank earning interest. Whites will not be allowed to leave anything to their descendants and white businesses will need to be black owned. No sorry… my mistake… we already have that one don’t we? Rather like the Jews before World War 2, whites will look back and wonder why they never saw it coming. Well they probably did but they were too timid to speak out for fear of being labelled racists.

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