US credit rating UK riot cartoon

US credit rating UK riots

Wonkie exposes Whole Truth behind World Crisis

The world hit a rough patch over the last week: the USA had its credit-worthiness downgraded by an international rating agency; looting and riots are erupting all over the UK; the famine is claiming more lives daily in Somalia; and Moolius Jalema inadvertently contracted mad cow disease. Are all these events tied together somehow? Is this a sign that the world will end in 2012? All these questions, and more, will be answered in this week’s Wonkie article.

The executive summary answer to all the above questions is… Yes.

Undercover Wonkie researchers have been working all through 8th August 2011, Women’s Day in South Africa, to bring you this special World Economics report. Our legal advisors advised us to inform you that absolutely no women were harmed in the production of this report.

Find the deliberate error challengeThe story begins about 7 years ago, when an entrepreneurial Somalian named Amadayo Hafifi decided to start his own venture. Life in Mogadishu was tough, but somehow, he managed to get his business plan accepted into a local incubator. Under the guidance of his mentor, he toiled for months, honing his strategy and abducting small pieces of metal and wood from nearby parked vehicles. By December 2006, he had completed phase 1 of his project. He had built what was to be the first boat, of a fleet of awesome boats.

A month later, Amadayo had recruited a full crew, many of whom were lawyers that assisted celebrities through the “adoption processes” of African countries. Strangely enough, they were the only ones that managed to ace the battery of psychometric evaluations required by his rigorous recruitment process.

On February 14, 2007, he set sail with his crew in Phase 3 of his business plan. As most well-meaning MBAs will fail to tell you, luck is often an unfortunate essential to business success. Fortunately for Amadayo, his crew proved to be very lucky. Their first customer happened to be a British cruise ship that had somehow veered off course from Ibiza (don’t ask). And so Amadayo’s asset relocation and structured finance business took off. In fact, he was one of the few Somalian entrepreneurs that made the international news quite frequently.

Over the next 2 years, Amadayo’s venture blossomed. He relocated assets and cleverly reinvested the proceeds into building bigger ships and hiring more crew. Wonkie reporters managed to obtain a recorded phone call in which Sir Richard Branson invited Amadayo over to his mansion in the UK. He had made it big.

Making the most out of every opportunity as always, Amadayo took time out during his trip to watch his favourite premiership team, the Spurs. There, by pure coincidence, he bumped into 2 football hooligans that he had befriended during his first customer meeting on the British cruise ship. A believer in fate, Amadayo hired them on the spot. His crew was truly international.

Then, in early 2009, the cycle turned. Amadayo had decided to diversify and sunk a huge chunk of his portfolio into the futures market – for rain. Little did he know then, but he was about to fall victim to a little-known Norwegian scam called the Bjorn Milky. In a matter of weeks he lost everything: his ships; his entire crew; 4 of his teeth; and Somalia’s entire rainfall supply for the following 3 years. His girlfriend left him for some blonde guy named Jurgen. Even the 2 ruffians from London, whom he had grown rather close to, made their way back to the UK. Sad times fell upon Amadayo.

Amadayo's Journey to America photoDetermined not to be set back though, in May 2011, Amadayo discovered he could “win” a green card to America. When he arrived by raft in Miami, he started a small venture selling stuff on eBay after being turned down for a hedge fund job at Goldman Sachs. Being entrepreneurial of course, he found a way to sell other people’s stuff, often without them even knowing about it.

Within a month, he was wheeling, dealing and back in the money.

It was all going very well, until early last week. In an ambitious transaction, Amadayo managed to sell an iPod nano for $6.4 Billion to the US treasury. Unfortunately, this very transaction flagged all sorts of credit score triggers which ultimately led to Black Monday, the downgrade of America’s credit-worthiness. Not surprisingly, the rating agency was S&P, the geniuses who gave Lehman Brothers a AAA credit rating right up to the point where it collapsed into a heap of stinky dung.

Sadly, the story does not end there. The iPod nano that Amadayo had pre-sold belonged to a gentle, elderly man in Tottenham. In fact, he was the grandfather of one of the two hooligans he had hired back in the good ol’ days in Somalia. The grandfather was not happy to find his iPod nano missing. When he hacked into Britain’s extensive CCTV network and saw that his grandson had stolen it from him, he was even less happy.

It was the last straw, and he decided to teach his grandson a lesson. He walked to the local pub and saw his grandson’s car there, with his iPod nano neatly nestled in the sheepskin seatcovers. In a fit of rage, he petrol-bombed the car. Soon, the locals gathered around and cheered and protested against anything and everything: the economy; the low level of welfare grants; football scores; a guy getting shot by the police; you name it, and they went mad about it.

Before long, one car on fire seemed lonely. So the crowd set another alight, and then another. Then, it just went out of control – one chap in the mob wanted a McDonald’s burger and didn’t have enough money, so he decided to loot a charity store. The rest, is current affairs.

Wonkie’s actuaries have modelled the current rate of world destruction and found that it fits a pear-shaped distribution, almost perfectly. This means that in all probability, the world will likely end by December 2012, as predicted by those calculating Mayans.

Wonkie urges you to take heed and ensure you enjoy every moment of every day, especially now that times are tough.

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Comments

  1. LOL! Talk about ramblingly funny…you see now wonkie can write a story for the Purple Elephant and little mouse without any problems! This story sounds like a twisted version of one of the Adventures of the Purple Elephant and the little mouse! The hooligans would be the cats….the bankers can be the monkeys…the bears could be the administrators…

    In terms of the world ending in 2012 I have a bet with one Mr.Sharma in Bangalore that he guarantees both him and I will be alive because we engage in UCP-Universal Collective Prayer! So it’s left to be seen…and suppose the world doesn’t end but instead starts over? Like Noah and the flood…I figure if that happens the Meady’s Musings Production House might be visited as a quick place to pick up several animal species but no iphones. No fishes in the production house either but maybe I should buy a goldfish just in case…in the hope that it will grow like the Matsya (fish) avatar of Vishnu and save us all…hmmm…or maybe the turtle already in the house will be the 10th avatar instead of a horse riding thing…who rides a horse randomly about nowadays anyway…at least in the Hindu flood story they take the herbs, plants and seeds too not just the animals…but seriously I’ve been often wishing of recently since observing my turtle that there was a turtle avatar in Hindusim too…but so far just the fish and half lion thing and all these people on horses! Turtles are amazing things…oh well…at least there was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! :)

  2. Andre Piek says:

    HAHA!! Nice one guys.. loved the short story!!

    I needed a break from all the doom and gloom and I can rely on Wonkie to give me that.. thanks! By the way, what were you smoking when you wrote this… care to share? LOL

  3. Spiritwolf says:

    Good Story, Sadly todays news is the story of our lives.

    Amazingly for so called 1st world super countries we are surprised and floored to hear they actually have finacial problems and internal political problems after interfearing with almost every other country?

    But actually thats not trully concerning, what is really worrysome is the country they and maybe most of the world owe money to…China and by extension Japan… soon there will be little nippons all over the place..

  4. I rate this one the best, almost spilt my tea, what a nice laugh this one is. Ha ha ha ha ; By the way do you know the whereabouts of Amadyo now, maybe in consultation with juju behind closed doors

  5. James Ross says:

    The truth hurts, but a lovely read. Where is Phase 2?
    Best regards

  6. Great story. Vivid imagination !!

  7. The problem started when the banks were deregulated and the financial markets boomed. The financial markets introduced derivatives which were not regulated as well. The banks and investment banks paid academics to basically lie whilst they knew that the risk that was taken could result in the worst depression of the system and bahhhhh it crashed in 2008. Instead of dealing with the problem the state central banks awarded the culprits behind the recession by bailing them out i.e taking all the debt that was taken by these bastards and now that is slowly but surely coming back to haunt them. The State central banks now are facing the same crisis because they never took any precautions of preventing the crash from occuring again. They just bought the debt and further liberalised the financial sector. If you watch closely at business news now the U.S is in a crisis but they haven’t announced it. The fall of the US results in the fall of the entire global system because the US is the economic powerhouse currently.

  8. notaround says:

    @ peace, I did spill my tea……………..yet again, should know better than to have a cup in my hand, when reading Wonkie. all over my desk yet again LOL

    you go Wonkie, you brighten up our day with your stories. Wonder what he was smoking, by the way, yes??

  9. PM please grant me sole film rights. Would love to use this story. Wonkie glows , lets have him for president he will make all the others look like Micky Mouse

  10. GOOD STORY WONKIE !!!

    HOW DOES THEIR PROBLEM AFFECT US SO BADLY ?
    THE RAND WEAKENED AFTER THEIR BLACK MONDAY.
    WHY ?

  11. Moolius Jalema inadvertently contracted mad cow disease….. Is this the error?

  12. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    “Black Monday, the downgrade of America’s credit-worthiness” – ‘Black Monday’ was a response to the downgrading of the AAA to AA+ on the Saturday (our time) by S&P – the downgrade did not take place on the Monday but did trigger the massive decline in US stocks.
    @ Mzu – you may be right – I think that Moolius has had mad cow disease all his life.

  13. You guys should watch a doccie called “The Inside Job”

  14. Your error is the date for Women’s day – should be the 9th August

  15. National Women’s is on the 9 August not the 8 August (Undercover Wonkie researchers have been working all through 8th August 2011, Women’s Day in South Africa, to bring you this special World Economics report)

  16. Good stuff! You should write a book.
    Oh yes, Spiritwolf, after they interfered, then the inhabitants of those countries went and flooded the 1st world countries with their families, then their extended families and then their families families and friends! That is how they got revenge for the interference! Now 3rd world inhabitants are to be found in every 1st world country and yet the 3rd world ones are still overpopulated.

  17. Rob your last sentence, the cause is that they can only do one act of performance

  18. Peace, I am also looking for Amadyo, he did not arrive last Saturday to mow the lawn or clean my car. Do I wait for him next week or should I hire another gardener.

  19. Mzu, the error is that Moolius did not inadvertently catch mad cow disease, he deliberately caught mad cow disease.

  20. Garth it sounds like he went back to London so your lawn and car will have to wait.

  21. Welcome Mzu. Yet again, unfortunately I have to agree with much you write about the wanker, bankers and their political benefactors being the cause of all the debt. Google the Keiser Report or watch it on Russia Today on Tuesdays and Thursdays it will give you a better perspective into the behaviour of Goldman Sucks, JP Morgan, the US Fed and the financial terrorists that seek to destroy the poor, impoverish the middle class and enrich themselves.

  22. The recession in the USA has hit everybody really hard…

    My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail

    CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

    Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen..

    I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

    If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them
    and ask if they meant you or them..

    McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

    Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

    Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s
    names.

    My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they
    re-possessed her!

    A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

    A picture is now only worth 200 words.

    When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

    The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

    History will re-name this President “Owe” Bama.

    And, finally….
    I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
    savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide
    Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I said I was suicidal,
    they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

    (courtesy of e-mail)

  23. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Garth – These are brilliant – I wish I could send you my e-mail address so that you could share more of such-like with me.
    @ Wonkie webmaster – if there is any way to give Garth my e-mail address, please do.

  24. Wonkie I would also like Garth to forward that to me thanks. You have my permission to send it to Garth
    PM I would still like to have the rights to make a film of these comments.
    It reminds me of a joke someone told us the other day.
    There were 3 tender submission to do a big construction for a large area. 1 tender was submitted by a construction company not with no political connections of R100.000.000. The 2nd tender was from a mp’s wife who owns a business R200,000,000. The 3rd was from a Construction co in Polekwane R400,000.000,. After negotiations the chairperson of the commitee called no 3 and asked why is tender was so high. You see man said the guy it is R100,000,000 for the construction co No 1 to do the job, R100.000.000 for you to give me the tender and R200.0000,000.00 for a trust fund.

  25. Garth take care when hiring another gardener if you live in Natal. They are scouting the area under cover to see where you buried your Kruger coins.

  26. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ James – congrats – you are right – I noticed it when I read through the strip the first time – then when I looked for the mistake I glossed right over it. Well done for not being half asleep as I must have been

  27. Not around , are you still around or not around. I think you live close to us maybe just around …. the corner

  28. Spiritwolf says:

    Is it me or everyone seems to be taking these market failure indicators very calmly? Or is it we all trying so sooo hard not to look at the pink elephant in the room just in case its true and the whole worlds economy collapse’s and we all up &h|t creek without a paddle?

  29. Spiritwolf, its even worse than that and given the stupidity of Fatboy and JZ and his cronies, what do they do they start enacting investor unfriendly policies, they try to shut the media up and they buy dollar bonds and then their pals in Cosatu start striking against the Govt that they elected. Way to go!!. Are they all fools?
    Peace, how did you know i bury my Kruger Rands in the garden. I had better go and check if they are still there.

  30. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    Sorry Garth – Peace has had them dug up and is even now gloating over the R 1780 + value of the gold in each one.

  31. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    Oops – mistake – $ not R

  32. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    and that works out to somewhere around R 13 350 per coin !!!

  33. I found some holes in my garden but no gold. Fortunately they did not find my cache of baked beans and pilchards.
    According to Ben Bernanke gold is not money and therefore worthless. It seems however that shrewd investors are not so easily fooled because yieds on Treasury Bonds are so low that they are almost negative and gfold increases.
    The debt crisis in Europe is fuelled by dollar investors who want Greece, Portugal, Italy, Spain , France etc.. to sell their gold cheap and then they wait for the USA to revert to the gold standard. It is estimated that if all the gold in the USA was divided into all the dollars the price of gold would be about $25000 an ounce. What aprofit, that would bail out the USA. I am on my way to buy more Kruger Rands. This time I will hide them in an old suitcase.

  34. Garth, care to share,?

  35. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    Sorry Peace but I have an excellent place to hide the old suitcase with all of mine. The fee is also very reasonable at 1% per day for a minimum of three months.

  36. Garth just a word of advice, do not deposit your gcoins in Ratananga trusts while it is under investigation you stand a good chance to loose it all.

  37. Andre Piek says:

    @Garth – some great one-liners there… really fun to read.. thanks! :)

    Andre

  38. Garth, I gave Wonkie permission to give you my email address please send me the email requested I would also like to reply to you via email that I can not post on this blog. Tks.
    To all other Please have a wonderful week all of you and great fun for all of us on this blog.

  39. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    So – webmaster – what special prize did you guys award James for spotting the MAJOR (deliberate) mistake that I was too half-asleep to spot (the second time – when I knew there was a prize) ???

  40. (lol) this one is the best i give it my rate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

  41. The last time my house was burgled, robbed, trashed etc.. The crooks stole just about everything except an old (very old) mothbitten suitcase that had belonged to my great grandmother. Inside were all my important documents, spare keys, camera and my laptop. That was left behind.

  42. Garth great to hear that they did not discover or took your treasures. That which they took hopefully can be replaced. The poor blind mugs wonder what happened to them, maybe they got strangled in one the stolen appliance’s cords. or tripped and broke their neck falling over the stolen tv.

  43. You guys are just insecure. If people steal for you, you should understand that you are in possession of stolen wealth. You shouldn’t be surprised because the first people to steal and thought others that stealing is a good thing wre you whites.

  44. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Mzu – once again you are RIGHT !!! “If people steal for you, you should understand that you are in possession of stolen wealth” – Please note that you said “steal FOR you” – and anyone who employs thieves to steal FOR him should get even longer jail sentences that the people who do the actual crime of stealing.
    What many (“white”) South Africans are complaining about is the racism involved (especially as spouted by twerps like you) in encouraging “black” people to steal only from “white” people.
    I know – you will again rant on about apartheid and the economic deprivation of the “down-trodden masses” – well the “down-trodden masses” exist in almost every country of the world and they had no policy of apartheid. They existed under the communist regime in the old USSR. They exist in the communist regime of China. But these countries are making major economic progress and embracing capitalism. Crime is, indeed, a major problem in Russia today – but it is the organised crime of mafia-style bosses. And we seem to have a “black” mafia-style trend going on in South Africa – except that we never hear the names of the so-called bosses of this racially organised rampage of stealing and killing.
    The largely Muslim organisation PAGAD managed to reduce the organised crime in the Western Cape. We now need a group of the “down-trodded masses” with decency at their hearts to organise a “black” Pagad and rid us of these economic terrorist who target “whites” and are causing major economic disruption by stealing “minor” elements of the economy such as copper cables and sending national bodies like Eskom and Telkom as well as more locally based enterprises such as the Gautrain into such massive problems which affect thousands and even millions of people across the country and these problems do not affect “whites” only – when Eskom cannot deliver because of cable theft the majority who suffer are the “down-trodden masses”.

    So, Mzu, get off your hobby horse and come back to the REAL world.

    I have lost count of the number of people who have been saying this to you through the wonkie blog so it will probably be water off a duck’s back – again – and you will go on quacking your inanities ad nauseam.

  45. Mzu if you are a member of night of the long knives you are in the wrong team the one that is going to loose. There are going to be too much obstacles for them to succeed so rather change your team and become a member of the public that wants equal share for all , fair and non racial that is the right team.

  46. I no longer take twerps like you seriously corny. You are a product of intellectual crisis. Impi you are crazy too man, sorry to say so. Fair a non racial society is an erroneous belief. How do you think we can have such society if whites do not go to Europe and leave black people alone, whilst doing so they can return their shipments back home (Indians, Chinese). That is as fair as you can get.

  47. Impi leave it to time, do not reason with those who have no understanding of what is truly real. They do sometimes come to their senses and notice the cause of the blockage of their views and removes it.

  48. Impi I guess you must be chuffed now that you are in the winning side of the whites who will dump once they’re done with blacks……lol

  49. Mzu I am friends with many other race groups and have been friends with some for over 20 years. We agree on everything we stand for, justice and freedom for all and never discuss politics but try and help put right what is wrong. And we do not dump but pick up those who have been dumped and make them worthy again.

  50. You must be also friends with snakes……

  51. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ impi – yes – you must also be friends with Mzu and the other snakes

  52. A-maize do you know of any snakes that stands for peace?? We stand for peace and prosperity for all even our enemies and snakes hates this

  53. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ impi – the only peaceFUL snakes (as opposed to snakes standing for peace) are those wound around the rod of Hermes’ (or Mercury’s) caduceus.
    I wonder if Mzu knows what a caduceus is.

  54. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Peace – I’m sure that you are so glad that no snakes stand for you.

  55. Amaize yes strange but true snakes make tracks when they see me. Even on the farm where we use to live, we had a dog that use to bark when he saw one and as soon as we got close to him, he would disappear out of fear. In Zululand once we were having a picnic in the woods, and there was one in a tree right above us, it was actually so funny, someone saw him and shouted to us to be careful there is a snake right above us. I got up from my chair the snake fell to the ground and a owl came and gobbled it up.

  56. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Peace – send the owl for Mzu

  57. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ all who like a laugh

    Do you know which is the most common variety of owl in South Africa?

    The TEAT owl

  58. A maize this was years ago in Zululand and I have no idea where he is now.

  59. The other day it snowed and: BBC. CNN.SKY NEWS AND THE REAL NEWS broadcasted. South Africa turned white by snow and the government called for a state of emergency.

  60. lol……… Impi will only realise when you reptiles spit him…….. When push comes to shove, whites will run to Australia, Indians to India and Chinese to China e.t.c. Where will you run to you fool (Impi)?

  61. Mzu i am not a him but a her and twice your age, so when you reach (if) you reach my age then speak to me again. There are a few million that agrees with us so dont try to play the a violent game, he who lives the sword shall die by the sword. I live by peace so I shall go to my home one day in peace. If you think and say the whites never apologized then you go look on the website where they did years ago. Do not try to make change from peace to hate you will never ever get it right. 21 years ago when i desperately needed help it was whites who helped me and trained me in every ting. So go to bed like a good girl and wake up with your eyes open tomorrow. No hate for you from me only love and pity.

  62. Her? sorry for mis-categorising you. But still you are disgrace to black people if those are your views. Stick on to the Laanie ass kissing now but where will you run when the laanie’s ass runs to their real home.

  63. Hi Mzu, while allthe whites, indians, and chinese are on their way back to wherever they came from, are all the blacks in Europe going to come back to Africa? Not a hope in hell. Despite the difficulties they face, it is nothing compared with the ineffectiveness of African governments to provide for their people, it is nothing compared to the brutality they suffer from their cruel dictatorships. I suggest you take a look at where refugees run to. Zimbabweans to SA and heaven forbid the “so called unelected dictatorship of Botswana. Take trip to Europe and see more than a 1000 people a day arriving in Spain, France, Italy from Africa. I spoke to a young black man in Granada in Spain who was selling sunglasses on the street, I asked him where he came from and why he came. He said in Senegal there are no jobs and no hope. I asked the same question of an umbrella salesman in Venice, Italy, he gave me the same answer as did a Senegalese car guard in Durban. Do not ask these people to go home.

  64. Yes, Garth and it’s not your problem to worry about but Africans. If we die then you will come back with no one telling you to go home but I promise you we lived happily when you weren’t here.

  65. Wow Mzu never realized that you are that old. Tell us what did you do for transport. exports, imports, How did you mine the gold and other minerals. Maybe we can learn from you. Please teach us and share your CONSTRUCTIVE experience so we can all live happy, happy people are productive people

  66. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Garth – don’t forget all the blacks in the Americas – the Haitians are doing a great job of running heir country into a pile of ruined ground – even without the terrible earthquake – the Dominican Republic depends entirely on the “west’s” demand for sugar, Cuba would be in a tight hole without their cigars, Jamaica needs drinkers for its rum, and Brazil is so busy trying to clean up the “black” gangs around Rio for the next World event (I don’t recall if it is the 2014 World Cup or the 2016 Olympics).
    Would they all go to Somalia to increase the famine there or would they spread out in Africa and bring famine to the whole continent?
    Come back to Africa – they love their roots – but come to live here ??? – NO WAY !!! Life is too good – even in devastated Haiti.

  67. Your problem is you think life was meant to be this complicated. We never worried about things that destroys mother earth as we knew that we need it to survive. Now your aeroplanes, trains, mining e.t.c. are the ones which are now threatening the existence of humanity because we are facing climate changes which can wipe the face of the earth if we do not stop it now. As I had said before, the stupidity of a white person is judged by how they claim to be brilliant over things which are digging their own graves. Only problem is they put every race in the same mess.

  68. Africa was an amazing place before colonisation, the Africans all lived in harmony and peace, they traded cattle and yams, negotiated boundaries, they had rich heritage of traditional medicine and never suffered from famine and drought. They never had to pay bribes as there was no money around and due to their peaceful and non-violent character wife beating and child abuse did not exist and society was crime free. Nationalisation was not an issue as there was nothing to nationalise. They never worried about the future, pensions, investments or youth unemployment, children worked the fields, herded the cattle and the stress of disease was removed from them, because they lived happy short lives in the African sun. World trade and globalisation meant nothing, their only exports were ivory and slaves. Yes Mzu, you were better off without whites, but you did not live long enough to enjoy it.

  69. Oh, oh , oh I forgot Mzu you did have the internet, which would not have been of use because you never had a written language.

  70. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Mzu.
    One thing the African people (especially the Xhosa and Zulu nations) were very good at was improving the gene pool of their nations and herds. This they did by killing the men of other tribes and bringing the women back as sex slaves (not to mention menial labour) and stealing the cattle of their neighbours. Has anything changed ? – stealing and killing seem to be among the top trades among certain of your population group.
    Perhaps you will say that this was a way of reducing the amount of oxygen taken out of our atmosphere and reducing the amount of carbon dioxide that is being pumped into it. So your ancestors were actually fighting against global warming before anyone knew that it existed. Wow – they were clever heh?
    Oh yes – did I forget that they also know how to increase the population – rural families tend to be very large – perhaps the white man should have brought television to the rural areas first – then there would be a slower population growth and less global warming.

  71. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Garth – you seem to have forgotten that they DID have instant messaging – BY DRUM!!!

  72. There would be even slower population growth if the Bold and the Beautiful was put on after dinner and not before.

  73. Yikes… Wonkie leaves you lot alone for a few days and look what happens. Sigh… can’t we all just get along?

    Firstly thanks to all of you for the comments – minus the personal attacks on each other – those are sometimes cringe-worthy.

    Well done to James and Elaine for spotting our deliberate error – Women’s Day is in fact on the 9th August. James, you win a Wonkie CartOOns pen for being the quicker typist.. we will be in touch shortly!

  74. Thanks PM for making us think a bit more rationally, some of these humorous comment do have a certain amount of truth except those with direct personal attacks. This is still the forum with the most humorous topic of all.

  75. I thank you Wonkie for creating such a platform where we would all speak our minds out without fear of being seen because that propels us to lie. Getting along is still a problem if we are not going to redress the past and history has shown we cannot get along in one continent. To all of you that is an illusion you have created amongst yourself about African history, you know nothing about. I am wondering if you are real human beings if you can be proud of what your ancestors did to Africa and say it was development. Internet, cellphones e.t.c. when it came at a very hhigh cost to the indeginous people. Millions of people died and were killed by your people, this did not only happen in Africa alone but you find that in Tasmania black people were destroyed and their history with that. If you were real people you would see that but I guess you’re just wild animals. Good luck on your stolen future and enjoy it while it lasts.

  76. Jaysus, we don’t have long then. I’ll have to stock up on Lindt Chocolates and Iron Fist Heels to take with me to the after-life.

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