Jewellery Heists cartoon

Jewellery Heists

Crime under control in South Africa

Crime is certainly under control in South Africa – sadly for South Africans though it seems firmly under the control of the criminals. An unverified source from an organised local crime syndicate stated that they are quite happy with the government’s effort to date and that they hope the authorities will keep up their hard work.

The police force has directed its efforts toward thwarting ATM bombings and cash-in-transit heists which had become rather popular over the last few months. For those who are not familiar with the concept of ATM bombing it’s been proven to be one of the most efficient methods of wealth redistribution – robbers basically bomb the ATM machine and steal the entire unit.. teller machine and all.

Sources on the street suggest that robbers are now doing MBAs and learning about applied process reengineering. Recent copies of a case study entitled Cutting out the middle man without using a knife has proven to be a hit at a local township business school. Robbers have subsequently adopted an adapt or die strategy and changed their focus to to robbing jewellery stores in suburban malls. The number of violent mall robberies during working hours have traumatised both store owners and shoppers. But it’s all ok though because the national statistics will soon clearly demostrate how the government has helped curbed crime in South Africa.

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  1. Very nice information. Thanks for this.


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