COP 17 Climate Change cartoon

COP 17 Climate Change

COP17 – Huge Success (for Global Warming!)

Wonkie thought that by now, you’re probably tired of reading headlines claiming that COP17 was a pathetic failure. You’ve no doubt read stories about how many delegates simply rehashed their speeches from previous COP meetings, and how the Americans effectively gave global warming issues the cold shoulder once again. You’ve probably also seen lots of pictures of cute females in floral t-shirts scampering around in their hotpants campaigning to save the planet.

Well now, Wonkie urges you to STOP. Take a deep breath. Stop wondering why you’re sitting in a dead-end job and had not been invited to that fun party by the sea. Stop imagining how great it would be to stop shaving your under-arms and not care about it (Wonkie believes many green people do this because everyone else stops breathing for a few seconds when they see it, thereby reducing CO2 emissions in the immediate vicinity). Stop thinking what if you could randomly travel abroad to attend week-long climate change conferences, and get praised for achieving nothing of consequence. Stop it right now. Those privileges are reserved for a select few.

Wonkie’s international think tank, which incidentally was banned from the COP17 climate change conference because of its controversial views, suggested publishing some of its findings and recommendations here to better inform the public of the real facts, options and constructive ways forward. Wonkie’s place at the conference was taken by archbishop Moletelo Molaba from Qwaqwa who offered his 100% guaranteed solution for climate change: prayer.

Below is an executive summary of Wonkie’s COP17 research report:

    1. COP is waste of time and money since the most powerful players are not really interested in change. America, which emits more CO2 than a process-optimised Mexican bean factory, is clearly not taking any helpful steps forward. India and other developing countries want to be like America so they’re not keen on changing either.
    2. Since no country is really doing anything constructive, it makes sense for the public to either (a) embrace the fact that climate change is here to stay; or (b) take steps to make the change themselves
    3. If they select option (a), now would be a good time to set up swimsuit businesses in Bangladesh and the Maldives and also to buy loads of sunblock
    4. Also following from option (a), Wonkie forecasts huge job creation in the Siberian real estate market. A temperature rise of a few degrees there would probably make it a great candidate for the next housing boom and subprime crisis.
    5. For the die-hard green activists, option (b) might be more attractive. Following months of gruelling research, Wonkie’s think tank came up with the ultimate technology solution for climate change, illustrated below.

COP17 Climate Change Solution image

  1. Wonkie has already approached the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation for funding the prototype. If you would like to make a contribution to save the planet for your grandchildren, please get in touch today and we’ll tell you how you can help.

Share YOUR COMMENT on COP17, global warming and Climate Change.
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As the year comes to a close, drive safely to wherever you’re heading and please don’t drink and drive! We look forward to reading your thoughts on COP17 and climate change in the comments section below.

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If you’re glad that the world is heating up and are only wishing that your luck would too, perhaps it would be a good time to buy lottery tickets online, check out Wonkie’s best online casinos South Africa reviews or try your hand at any of the top online casinos in India now. For alternative options to help you enjoy the change in climate, visit Wonkie’s other suggested entertaining sites.

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Be sure to check out Wonkie’s related article on Robert Mugabe and the energy crisis.

Share YOUR VIEW on COP17, climate change solutions and global warming here.
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Comments

  1. @PM http://meadysmusings.blogspot.com/2010/03/funtastic-fridays-new-rain-dance.html

    My cartoon on global warming and climate change done with more limited use of tools! Never mind I mixed up the shirts with Dr. Clean Air and Dr. GHG although technically he could have changed his shirt the next day…I had to use that hastamilan cartoon site in a round about manner so was hard to go back and change it!

    Forget about people in hot pants there are nude activists everywhere or the lettuce bikini wearing PETA girls trying to convince you to go vegan!

  2. climate change is here to stay, as long as we are having developing countries, it does not make any sense for them to preserve the planet at such a great cost for them,
    even myself I will do anything to develop myself, i don’t care who gets hurt along the way.
    so, people forget it, nothing will be done, and do not forget the universe has a way of adjusting itself. some day it will.

  3. The three biggest poluters are not interested in whether the climate changes or not. Unfortunately because of their size there is nothing us little uns can do about it so don’t even try.

  4. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    Just imagine – all those tonnes of greenhouse gases pumped into the atmosphere by the travel arrangements of all those people coming to Durban – both delegates AND “activists” – just so that they could warm us up some more by putting out all of that “hot air” and getting virtually nowhere.

    I wonder how much of a contribution the conference was in heating the planet even more.

    @ manthata – yes, the universe does have a way of adjusting itself – by getting rid of those parts which work against its equilibrium – like the dinosaurs 65 million years ago. WE’RE NEXT !!!

  5. It is a shame to humankind that we will all be extinct in the next 200 years or even sooner than that. My heart cries out in great pain that there are countries as rich as the US who are not prepared to save billions of lives who are at risk of extintion. I understand now the saying “Money is the root of all evil”. What a waste of time!!!! We must prepare ourselves for the worst. The end of the world is really near.

    @ Wonkie – Thank you for your message of safety. I also urge people to very vigilant on the roads and come back in 2012 alive and prepared ot make a difference in the lives of other people. “As the year comes to a close, drive safely to wherever you’re heading and please don’t drink and drive!”

  6. Ha…COP17 … It’s more like COP OUT 17!

  7. COP17 was just another excuse to ‘meet and eat’. Climate change will continue to change. This round started with the industrial revolution and there is no going back. Humans beings are killing the planet and one of these days we will look like Mars.
    In the meanwhile – Don’t Drink and Drive!

  8. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    And don’t forget – even coke or water is a drink – when you tilt the bottle, you take your eyes off the road and, in some parts of SA, that can be deadly!

  9. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    Use a straw!!!

  10. Deena Naidoo says:

    To all you Manthata’s and the ignorant, uneducated lot who were manufactured by a faulty batch of ‘so-called humans’. This COP17 is NO joke. I, and others, and believe me, a good couple of billion self-respecting human beings are life preservers who love living.

  11. THANK YOU WONKIE,I enjoyed your crisp and dry comments.Way to go guys.
    @Deena Naidoo , my dear , lay back ,smell the roses,have a couple ,I mean a few gin and tonics,then have some more , and you will see the world from my prespective.All of the sudden everything is all right

  12. In future ,all activists , greenies,officials should wear a soon to be patented ,by myself , a fartometer .The Earth is on its normal cicle, the Mayas knew about it,soon ,very few if anyof us will be around.Everyone that attends these meetings is there to gain something.The more elequent the farts the better chance you will have to be invited again to the next venue and have some good chow and booze.i did not mention massages

  13. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Bacchus – please be a little sparing with the fartometer and the products it is designed to detect – remember that farts are also greenhouse gases.

    Good luck with the ‘massages’ and don’t forget to share the g&t this side also.

  14. All those who believe that Kyoto, COP and their followers have all been conned by a belief that we can make a difference to climate change. Take a look around you and imagine no power, no motor vehicles, no americans this si what you are signing up to. Even if we stopped burning coal, oil, gas, firewood, tobacco and those lovely smelling incense sticks Global Warming would continue. The escape of methane would do it, a few Volcanoes would ensure it. Rather than reduce Carbon emissions which will have no effect we should be learning to live with Climate Change. It might help if we slaughtered all those methane emitting cows that provide the cholesterol feast for those Americans, if we stopped believing the hot air of the COP freeloaders and that the rest of stopped farting.

  15. Deena, how can you smell the roses when their is too much residual farts in the air

  16. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Garth – sounds like a load of crap to me

  17. The low-key nature of Durban’s COP17 climate talks has produced an unexpected silver lining. With a Kyoto 11 agreement seemingly in the deep freeze, a key issue has been allowed to fill the void:food security.

    New studies from Oxfam, the Food and Agriculture Organisation and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change have painted a stark picture of how climate change is already wreaking havoc on the global food supply, and how much worse this could get. Endemic food shortages and famine are among the most shocking eventualities yet to be thrown up by climate change. And shocked we should be, such would be the consequences of failing to act swiftly.

    Last year saw drought in Russia, China and Brazil, and flooding in Pakistan and Australia, severly straining the food supply and sending world grain prices through the roof, while this year’s drought in the Horn of Africa has created a humanitarian disaster in an already food- insecure region. These events provides clear insights into the fragility of the food system, and how little it takes to send it out of kilter-and to consign millions to hunger.

    This awareness of an imminent wholesale food crisis is needed to reinject urgency into climate talks; but a continuous awareness of climate change is just as necessary to keep the food security agenda on the right track.

  18. Much of it is a lot of hot air. Some folk are into new scare tactics in order to make money out of the simple minded. To be blunt, we should have had our third nuclear power station up and running by now. But our all wise ANC government has no idea what to do. Correction, the ANC knows how to stay in power and line pockets.

  19. @Piedpyper
    Thank you for your informative piece of writing concerning our current world crises, and yes, it is scary!!
    To the rest of you who feel the need to pass facetious remarks on a subject you obviously clueless about – keep your stupid comments to yourself.
    Global warming is a very real issue and so is the food crises. Don’t be so self absorb people!!

  20. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Jewel – Whilst many (or even most) of the people writing in this blog will agree with your first sentence – and I do – the rest of your comment is just a hissy fit.
    You need to realise that Wonkie is not a deep philosophical blog but a blog where serious issues are ‘debated’ with a major element of humour – else why the CARTOON???
    Facetious remarks – wonderful!!!
    Name-calling – not wonderful – hissy!!!
    Be as serious in your own comments as you like but, at the same time, allow others to enjoy the blog – and relax a little bit and see the humour. It’s a great stress reliever.
    Having said all that – yes – the conference was a COP-out (17), and the Canadians have proved that there is no good-will in any government promises. Yes, the situation is dire. But with all that I try to do to cut down my own family’s carbon footprint there is little more that I can do to reduce global warming but to stop producing carbon dioxide by topping myself – but even that wouldn’t be a full stop because as my body decays it still produces carbon dioxide (not to mention the stink of rotting fat – sorry I meant flesh).
    Chill girl!! – Chill!!

  21. @a-maize-ingly-corny
    I am not prepared to apologise for “throwing a hissy fit” because too many people really don’t take it seriously. However, I can promise not too “hissy” in future and to relax, chill enjoy the non-facetious remarks on the blog. Fair enough? :-)

  22. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Jewel – great – and don’t totally ignore us facetious folk because, SOMETIMES, we say something really serious and without silly or catty remarks added, and, once in a while, we add serious substance to the debate.

  23. Jewel, yes climate change is real, drought, floods, are also real, food shortages are real, air pollution is real. But get wise here Climate Change and food security do go hand in hand but when nature produces more greenhouse gasses in one volcanic eruption than mankind has produced throughout history it becomes impossible to blame humans and it will be impossible to fix. The amount of greenhouse gasses produced by human endeavour is only a fraction produced by nature.

  24. Great comments here by Jewel, Corny and Garth and whilst at it, with food prices spiralling since 2008, a compelling discourse for raising food production is already firmly in place, driving a flood of interest and investment back into agriculture-particularly “under- exploited” farmlands in the developing world.

    According to the new orthodoxy, food production will need to be significantly ramped up to feed a growing world population, regardless of climate change. But the danger of discourse is precisely its indifference to how we produce, who produces for whom, and at what price for climate change and environmental sustainability.

  25. What has happened to all the controversy on Wonkie. Mzu it seems has given up and ran off with Maize. Even jewel’s hissy fits will not make up for our loss. However Piedpyper almost gets it. So lets ramp up food production worldwide, grow lots of GM wheat, mealies or whatever lets get the grub out there before we all die of starvation or boredom.

  26. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    Sorry Garth – I’m still around
    Mzu has probably picked up with madoba and impi and gone to rio
    Let us wish them Peace – or should that be piece ?

    With the festive season coming up very quickly and it being the time of giving I am collecting for nest year’s holiday so you can give me your donations via Wonkie and I will be grateful – I’ll even go to rio to look for Mzu and his madoba impi! I will, of course, report back if I find that they are boring each other.

  27. Seriously guys, global warming is here to stay and it is too late for any talk shop to come up with any real solutions. This planet is on the road to self-destruction. There is a pretty good description of the final event in the second book of Peter, chapter 3 and verse 10. The first half of Matthew chapter 24 gives a pretty good description of the state that the world is in at present – wars, famines and earthquakes. There are also other references which describe our present time, but I don’t want to bore you. Those who are interested can read the new testament for themselves.

  28. Tanni, No amount of talk shop can resolve climate change. We just have to adapt. The new testament is not going to help any more than the old testament.

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