End of the world cartoon

Little Lerato - End of the world cartoon

21 Dec 2012 – End of the World Cartoon!

Doomsday-mongers, dodgy astrologists, Mayan descendents, and reborn Christians all over the world found themselves in a mad build-up frenzy this week. The build-up, of course, is to the current deadline of 21st December 2012 – the much-anticipated end of the world. That’s tomorrow for those of you who have just woken up from a seven year coma.

With so many half-truths floating about the world’s toilet bowl, Wonkie decided to investigate deeper to provide readers with The Whole Truth. Read on to discover the facts about planetary alignment, Mayan prophecy, predictions about the future, what you should be doing to prepare for the end of the world, and more.

Mayan ruins imageAfter spending several intense weeks in Brazil investigating the Mayan culture, Wonkie researchers unfortunately concluded that Rio was not the hub of the Mayan empire. In fact, that claim to fame lay on another continent altogether. Wonkie, together with a small team from NASA, then made their way north to Cancun, Mexico. There things started to get interesting.

It was there that the End of Days research team experienced its first ominous omen. It was much like the mysterious illnesses the initial tomb explorers in Egypt were inflicted with. It later turned out that it was just a really bad case of the runs from some suspect Mexican burritos. Nevertheless, the whole scene did help build up the anticipation that we were close to some epic discovery.

As luck would have it, our research journey led us to some ancient Mayan texts soon after – texts that explained everything. It really is amazing what one can buy from those stinky sombrero-laden salesmen traipsing up and down the beach all day if one knows what to ask for. A few bottles of tequila and a close attack from a Peta worms-rights activist later, the team had a shocking, complete Mayan translation in hand.

Maya the Bee imageFor those not in the know, the Maya that Wonkie is talking about is not Maya the Bee. It is a Mesoamerican civilization renowned for its architecture and strikingly accurate mathematical and astronomical systems. Mayans were around from about 2600 BC and were the creators of the only known written language in the pre-Columbian Americas. There is no known relationship between the Maya and the bee.

In any case, the translated tablets were apparently etched by a young boy named Atapaca Uximal in some ancient creative writing class back in the good ol’ early days of the Mesoamerican Long Count Calender (around 2400 BC). It turns out that Atapaca had quite the knack of mixing fact and fiction and later developed into one of the foremost Mayan movie producers of his era. Bored with the usual predictions of mass spiritual enlightenment at the end of the Mayan Epoch prevalent at that time, Atapaca wrote an essay on the end of the world instead. It took the Mayan culture by storm.

Atapaca later produced the highest grossing hit movie in the pre-Columbian era based on his initial 2012 end of the world essay. This movie of course was rather poorly remade recently in a tacky attempt to reproduce some ancient cinematic genius. As is the case with many a good story, the lines between paranoia and prediction became quite blurred over time. Random facts like some arbitrary planetary alignment were attached with significance mostly by forward-thinking Mayan marketing gurus who saw the opportunity for their great-great-great(x20)-grandchildren to sell end-of-world survival kits. The rest, as they say, we’ll find out tomorrow.

The revelations in these historic Mayan tablets led the Wonkie research team to generate some interesting and relevant insights:

  1. People will believe just about anything given enough time and marketing resources;
  2. Planets are always aligning in some way or other, predicting which alignments are significant and in which ways is like trying to count sand on the beach – it’s human nature to try, but it will likely be a pretty pointless adventure;
  3. If you sell stuff to avert something nasty happening in the future, then unless you’re a complete moron, chances are you will probably become very, very rich;
  4. The smartest people accept that they don’t know what’s going to happen in the future and make the most out of the situation at hand. So if you’re throwing a massive end-of-world party and celebrating the moment regardless of what tomorrow brings, Wonkie is very proud to know you!

South African blog awards badgeUPDATE: Thanks to those of you who voted for Wonkie Cartoons in the recent SA 2012 Blog Awards. Since the the world did not end on 21 Dec 2012, Wonkie will happily celebrate its runner up positions in the Most Entertaining Blog and Best Politics Blog categories in 2012… Thank you again!

On possibly Wonkie’s final note, Wonkie wishes all survivors of 21 December 2012 the very best for Christmas and the New Year. May 2013 be filled with less international financial chaos, more of president Zuma’s children, increased spiritual enlightenment, and many, many more laughs!

Leave YOUR COMMENT and predictions here on 21 December 2012, the possible end of the world, and your plans after the world ends.

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If you’re glad that Zuma has not been ousted in Mangaung, and are confident that the world will not end tomorrow, perhaps this is a good time to push your luck and gamble online in South Africa or click here if you’re based in India instead. You can also check out the best Christmas online casinos in South Africa offers right here on Wonkie.

If you’re less adventurous and still feeling lucky, why not take this opportunity to buy lottery tickets online here or check out the latest end-of-world lotto jackpots on this excellent new play lottery online portal. End the year 2012 with a bang, if not the entire world!

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Related articles on Mayan prophecy, the end of the world in 2012, and Christmas:

  1. 2012 End of the World
  2. Peace on Earth Cartoon
  3. Mayan prophecy

Leave YOUR COMMENT and predictions here on 21 December 2012, the possible end of the world, and your plans after the world ends.

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Comments

  1. LOL – Classic stuff Wonkie – loved the cartoon and the article! Thanks for making it an entertaining year all round :) You’ve definitely got my vote in the SA 2012 Blog Awards.

    All the best for Christmas and the New Year Wonkie.. have a good one!

  2. Aha now I know why there is a g/teed R 20m lotto scheduled for 22/12/2012. Your’e not gonna get it. HeHe ;))

  3. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    Cancun is about 10 or so hours behind us, so 21 December will not end there until about 10 am 22 December here. Then I’m going to enjoy a MAMMOTH scotch – probably with soda and ice and on the 23rd (assuming I survive the scotch) I’ll go to church and thank God for the new lease on life – though it probably would be a better life without a certain baby-making factory of a top dog under the shower – then enjoy whatever else I can think of that’s pleasant and gives enjoyment to myself and my “connections”.

    Happy Hanukkah (or however it is spelled)
    Merry Christmas
    and have a great piss-up on Hogmanay

  4. Today, lets eat and drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die – and will our faces be red if we don’t die tomorrow

  5. Well now, an interesting point was raised and not answered by the “prophets” predicting the end of the world. Already now somewhere in the world there is people getting ready for the 21st of December. So I wonder why we were not giving a time as well. As at 12 greenwich time the world as we know it will not exist any more. In any case, somewhere somebody is died and the world as they know it have cease to exist. For all the other people about to celebrate Xmas and New Year, all of the best, enjoy, don’t drink and drive or your world might change completely.

  6. The few thousand gullible believers deserve their fate tomorrow.
    Fortunately this time they don’t have a conman telling them to sell their houses and possessions and donate the proceeds to his “church”.
    So those believers that do survive can return to their normal lives (albeit with their tails between their legs) until the next doomsday prophecy hits the headlines.

  7. Please dont call me till its all over. I’m making love!! The end of the world is naai!

  8. TheBeliever says:

    You unbelievers will regret this day! I’ve packed my bags and sold my house, car and mother-in-law. Have confirmed my space tickets and I’m ready to go – I got window seats too!

  9. Actually, according to Atapaca Uximal and other Mayans, the precise time everything is aligned is supposed to be 11h11 GMT on 21 December 2012.

    @a-maize-ingly-corny – make sure you time your scotch just right!

    @Tony – hmmm… now they won’t seem so gullible if the world does end tomorrow right?

    @ratava – enjoy!!! Now that’s what Wonkie calls making the most of the situation.. smart person!

    @U2R1 – if you drink enough today, you can blame the red face on the booze tomorrow… good thinking!

    @Ewert – hmmm… good idea but too late – Wonkie could have redirected all those lotto ads to its own bank account… damn!

    Hmmmm… we’re missing Garth, Rio, Dirk, and Chepha to get all Wonkie’s much-loved regulars in the comments. Thank you all for priceless commenting and look forward to much more in the new year! Enjoy the festive season!

  10. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Believer – how did you manage to sell your mother-in-law? Is the buyer open to taking on any more “baggage”?
    The window seats probably cost you your house. Hope you packed a tent – but where do you pitch a tent in space?
    Thanks PM – now I can start drinking at 13h12 local time on Friday instead of waiting for Saturday morning! HOORAY!!!!!

  11. For the rest of the planet, the world did not end as predicted. But for us in RSA, the beginning of the end started today. Zuma was given a second term of office. From here it’s all downhill to the end of our world as we know it. Guess I’ll join Corny in a scotch to drown my sorrows.

  12. Out of Africa says:

    @Believer – you may have my mother-in-law too. She lives in Middelburg Kaap. Are you wearing new Nike runners!
    @Scorpio and all others left behind (except Dirk) – my sincere sympathies.
    @Corny – lang mey yer lum reek – I am already into the scotch (without soda) although I will still be here tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

  13. I am rather surprised that you should use the term “reborn Christian” – for one thing, any Christian (or Jew) who knows her/his scriptures will know that the world cannot end today. The retrun/coming of Messiah has been promised and that promise waits to be fulfilled. Secondly, the term “reborn Christian” is a tautology. A Christian is, by Scriptural definition one who has been “born again”, or “born from above” (John 3:3)

  14. What a lot of crap the world is going to e,,,,,,,!@#%%??? help

  15. AHHH CRAP – 21 Dec 2012, 11h11 GMT and all I have is a friggin hangover that feels like the world has ended.

    @Right On – maybe the Messiah was born today… how do you know he/she was not?

    @Scorpio, Out of Africa, Mickey – Thanks to you all too for the enjoyable comments over the last year – Wonkie is looking forward to more of the same in 2013!

  16. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ PM – sorry about your hangover – I’ve just got started on mine – 15 yr old Dimple nicely balanced with ice cold soda in a LARGE glass.

    It looks like Atapaca Uximal was a relative of the Brothers Grimm – at least as far as the time is concerned.

    It is still the wee small hours before dawn in in the Yellowstone National Park where the world’s largest caldera lives and breathes. She still has time, today, to wake up and kill us all!

    Believers – don’t give up hope yet. Unbelievers – don’t give up hope yet!

    Any news of the aliens on the mountain at Bugarach???

  17. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    Oops – I see the Dimple has started to affect me already – repeating myself “… dawn in in the …”

  18. The world ended at 11:11 GMT (13:11 local) and nobody even noticed

  19. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ Tony – yours maybe but mine still rocks – or is that mine is still ON the rocks ???

  20. @Tony… the world has ended. These messages are just a figment of your imagination.

  21. The Meady’s Musings Production House almost ended! And the little mouse said a prayer about what is real and what is unreal…so yep you never know!
    http://meadysmusings.blogspot.com/2012/12/advent-calendar-2012-very-late-opening.html
    Plus suppose everyone is currently infected with latent bacterial something…and we will all turn into zombies at midnight! :)

  22. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ PM – stop calling me a figment! Btw, what is a figment? Is it a FIG that has ferMENTed?

  23. @ PM Thank you for your interest in what I had to say about Messiah. My standpoint stems not from knowledge, but from belief. My belief that Messiah is the Jesus who was born 2000 or so years ago leads me to the conviction that He cannot have been born today. The Bible describes how He will (re)appear, but the Biblical statements are received by faith and not by knowledge. This was totally unacceptable to my philosophical “bent”, but I have learned to live with it.

  24. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    It appears that the aliens on the mountain at Bugarach have decided that Russia is the best place to be – so now it”s bugaroff!

  25. @Right On – I have been told that a reborn Christian is one who did not get it right the first time. Now if that could be the case, then why not have the whole of mankind reborn so that they can use this as an excuse to carry on what they did before they were reborn, when they did not have an excuse of why they were not reborn. That is what is so confusing about being reborn. Excuse me, but my mind has been boggled by the end of the world. has it occurred or is it still going to happen?

  26. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    @ U2R1 If your mind has been boggled by the end of the world, one must wonder what drinks they were serving and whether it was the end with the 24hr day or the end with the 24hr night – it being the winter solstice in the Northern hemisphere and the summer solstice in the Southern hemisphere (that’s suidelike halfrond for our Afrikaans bloggers).
    I have it on good authority that the aliens on the mountain at Bugarach decided to Bugaroff because the green skinned, spirit drinking, blond haired aliens and the yellow fleshed, big eyed hairless aliens that approached are their mortal enemies in their native galaxy and they decided that those three outnumbered them so, discretion being the better part of valour …..
    Hey! maybe that’s why the world DIDN’T end – yet.
    As to your last question – IT IS STILL GOING TO HAPPEN !!!!!!!!!!
    Just no-one has, yet, said when, in the next 10 billion years, it will be.
    Not even our old faithful: Nostradamus.

  27. Dear All I once had a “reborn christian” whose bakkie needed a gearbox overhaul. on completion of the work, I was promised payment at the end of the month. Many raves about being an RB, and how honest he was I let the vehicle go. Still await payment, this was some 20 years ago. On checking up, he owed a lot of people that he had bullshitted with the same story. He also was very feely touchy with other people’s wives. Cancer took him some time after, and I often wondered whether he bullshitted St Peter too? And this clown was an elder nogal!!! Bloody Hypocrite!

  28. Out of Africa says:

    The people walking in darkness
    have seen a great light;
    on those living in the land of deep darkness
    a light has dawned…

    For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
    And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:1,6)

    MERRY CHRISTMAS to Wonkie, Wonks and Wonkettes, whether you have seen the light or not, believe or not – you are my favourite connection to the ‘vaderland’ and the seemingly last of a dying breed of intelligent humorists! And Cheers to the New Year.

  29. a-maize-ingly-corny says:

    Congratulations Wonkie on runner-up in both the Entertainment and Political blogs categories.
    Maybe, next year, more of us will stand solidly with you and you will win at least one of the categories – or even become the overall winner.
    Thanks for a great site which entertains us whilst we bitch and moan about South Africa’s politics and newsworthy events ( note the deliberate separation of newsworthy and politics ) and let us all enjoy the jousts in 2013.
    Happy New Year to all – even to the misguided souls who disagree with my perfect enlightenment !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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